IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #news #media #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart provides information about
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of individuals
fallowing
Correct your spelling
following
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 the news on 4 different
media
 in a particular area. In brief, television was one of the most popular
media
all
Change preposition
of all
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over
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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time. But
in contrast
, the popularity
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 3
media
 was variable. In more detail, it can be seen that the heist usage in all
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 was television even in 2017 with almost 70% in all 3 years. unlike
this
 similarity, a significant increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of people who
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
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 to use
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 should be mentioned as well.
this
media
 only had 30%
Change preposition
of user
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user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 in 2013 and approached 40%
Change preposition
of customer
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customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 2 years,
however
, the number had
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
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 rise between 2015 to 2017 with more than 65%
Change preposition
of user
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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.
Furthermore
, another markable change in
average
Correct article usage
the average
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percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 belongs to
Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 with a smooth fall from more than 40% to almost 21%
Change preposition
of buyer
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buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
show examples
.
However
, the figure for radio was around 30%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year without any impressive change.
Submitted by negarqaemi24 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words media with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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