Why do you think self discipline is better than motivation?

#self #discipline #motivation

It is often claimed that

self discipline

Add a hyphen

self-discipline

show examples

is better than

motivation

in achieving

goals

. I completely agree with

this

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and tend to think that

motivation

is not a persistent resource to continue doing something regularly,

while

discipline allows

not

Correct pronoun usage

one not

show examples

to stop even without

motivation

. As evidence of the previous judgment let’s see sportsmen. All athletes do sport regularly for different

goals

. Some of them prepare for competitions, others just keep their bodies in good shape. Despite the goal, all they need is a consistent and stable process of doing exercises, responsible and healthy eating habits, consuming required amounts of water and other activities.

Hence

, in order to get results in

this

sphere people need to be into it,

Correct word choice

and be

show examples

motivated,

however

, those who lose the

motivation

usually stop because they lose the priority of these activities in life without

motivation

While those

Correct word choice

Those

show examples

who can stand and continue doing sports without

motivation

are very disciplined people.

Thus

, being disciplined is more important and effective than being motivated. As a second

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

I want to share my experience of learning English and preparing for exams. As with any process, learning English is sophisticated and requires a certain structure and system approach.

Therefore

, to get results you need persistent training. Speaking about

motivation

, it is a really unstable thing, I can lose it or get it again very quickly, so if my preparation would be based on

this

, it would be an ineffective and slow process without great results.

Hence

, in my case discipline is more important than

motivation

. In conclusion, I would like to say that

motivation

is an important part

Change preposition

show examples

forming

goals

and choosing the direction of future development. Most people need to be motivated by others.

However

motivation

is an unstable factor, which directly influences people’s progress.

Hence

, it is necessary to be disciplined as well in order to maintain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

progress on the way to reach

goals

Submitted by ddoiron on Sat Dec 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear opinion throughout. While the essay does address the topic, it can benefit from a more explicit statement of your position in the introduction, followed by a consistent argument in the body paragraphs that relate closely to the main topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on further linking ideas and paragraphs clearly and logically. There was a logical flow in the essay, but there were opportunities to use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to make the argument more compelling. Transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs will improve the coherence and overall flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One school of thought holds that young managers and team leaders in different organizations could better than the older ones. While I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that the elder workers could bring numerous benefits to corporations.
6
band
In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
In several nations schools have different issues with students' behaviour and I think the main reasons are, that children will not face punishments and families will not control their pupils' behaviour. In the following essay, I will suggest solutions.
7
band
1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package
Hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to inform you about my recent job change.
7.5
band
The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some believe that the most effective approach to improving safety on roads is to enforce stricter punishments for traffic rule breakers. This essay strongly disagrees with that statement because, while punishments are important to stimulate safe driving, this approach may not be the sole solution to the complex issue at hand.
7
band
Topic: Some people argue that technological advancements have made our lives easier, while others believe that they have led to increased stress and isolation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today's rapidly evolving world, technological advancements have revolutionized the way we live, work, and interact with one another. While some argue that these advancements have significantly improved our lives by making tasks more efficient and accessible, others contend that they have contributed to heightened stress levels and increased social isolation.

Why do you think self discipline is better than motivation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package

The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic: Some people argue that technological advancements have made our lives easier, while others believe that they have led to increased stress and isolation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.