It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #spaces #squares #parks

Spacious public spaces

such

parks

and

squares

are required for all towns and cities to have. I stand with

this

perspective and

from

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show examples

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

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Change the capitalization

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will explain the reason with supporting

opinion

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opinions

show examples

Squares

and

parks

are necessary to have in every

cities

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city

show examples

and

sould

Correct your spelling

should

in a big size.

This

place could give several benefits

for

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nature and society. Most of the cities are full of

concentrate

Replace the word

concentrated

show examples

building

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buildings

show examples

therefore

parks

squares

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

important

space

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spaces

show examples

for trees or small

forest

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forests

show examples

in the middle of the city. The existence of

forest

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forests

show examples

is to absorb carbon dioxide that

produced

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is produced

show examples

by human activity.

For instance

, smoke from burnt fossil fuel cars can be captured by the trees.

Thus

the trees could process the

photosyntesis

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photosynthesis

to make

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apply

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oxygen and give

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apply

show examples

fresh air. Regarding the benefit for

the

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apply

show examples

society,

parks

and

squares

could provide spaces for

entertaiment

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entertainment

or to relax. Living in a city sometimes can be

bored

Wrong verb form

boring

show examples

and leads to stress, because of the traffic congestion or pressure from work.

Hence

parks

squares

are needed for citizen to enjoy their time and

breath

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breathe

show examples

some fresh air. Many activities can be done here,

such

as yoga,

picnic

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picnics

show examples

, jogging, or just strolling around to enjoy

weekend

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the weekend

show examples

As a result

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

places could help people to achieve their

work-life-balance

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work-life balance

show examples

without

should

Verb problem

apply

show examples

going a long ride to

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the coutryside

show examples

coutryside

Correct your spelling

countryside

. To illustrate, many activities are held in

parks

on the weekend

such

aerobic

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aerobics

show examples

or zumba to encourage

Correct article usage

a healty

show examples

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

lifestyle and better health. In conclusion, a large park or square brings several benefits to both nature and society.

Therefore

, I remain convinced that

this

idea should be maintained.

Submitted by 2024successielts on Sun Dec 31 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by having distinct paragraphs for different ideas, using clear topic sentences, and connecting paragraphs meaningfully. Your current structure needs improvement in transitioning smoothly between ideas and providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but lack a strong thesis statement and summarizing punch. The introduction should clearly outline your stance and preview the supporting points. The conclusion should restate your position and summarizing the main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. Current examples are somewhat vague. Illustrating your points with concrete examples or statistics will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.

task achievement

Ensure a complete response to the prompt by fully developing all parts of your stance. You should explore your position in greater depth, including potential counterarguments and a stronger personal voice.

task achievement

Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on each point. Provide more detailed explanations, reasons, and implications. Instead of just stating benefits, discuss how these benefits impact society on a wider level and their long-term significance.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Generic statements need supporting information that is directly tied to your viewpoint. Consider using case studies, research findings, or personal anecdotes to support your position.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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