Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

The discovery and production
tobacco
Change preposition
of tobacco
show examples
dates back many years.At that time,
tobacconists
Replace the word
tobacco
show examples
production was traditional and limited in quantity and for that
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
it was not known among the
people
.In
this
essay, we want to examine the reasons the plenty of welcome
people
from harmful substances. In the following, I will give examples of the problems caused by smoking and
also
my suggestions for
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of using these addictive substances. A lot of
people
in the world believe that
use
to tobacconists at the time of anger to
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
calm down in the event that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of
smoke
for no person has
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
profit.
For instance
, one of the main reason
cancer
Change preposition
for cancer
show examples
and pulmonary illness is
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of
tobacconists
Replace the word
tobacco
show examples
. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present, in some countries
such
as Iran, is no legal ban on selling cigarettes to
people
under the age of 18 and the health of teenagers is at risk,so, policy
markers
Correct your spelling
makers
show examples
have to do suitable education for
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
use
of
smoke
in schools and
also
the media should make programs with content in
this
regard. The family plays a key role in building the culture of its members
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
show examples
, teenagers in their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
should learn that
use
to
smoke
are plenty of harmful. informing the
people
of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society about the importance of healthy living is the best solution to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the amount of addictive substances. As a
reasult
Correct your spelling
result
, governments should establish very strict rules for
smoke
Replace the word
smoking
show examples
users in order to increase the health of the
people
of their country. My suggestion is that a heavy tax should be considered for the production
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
purchase and sale of tobacco.
Submitted by omranz2013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and clear paragraphing. The introduction should set the context and clearly state the purpose of the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the introduction and conclusion. Both should be distinct and encapsulate the core argument and summarise the main ideas respectively. Avoid new arguments in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more focused and elaborated examples. Ensure each paragraph discusses one main idea in depth rather than multiple ideas superficially.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Your essay should answer all parts of the question, providing a balanced consideration of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate your ideas. Present your arguments clearly and ensure that they are easy to follow, providing a comprehensive exploration of the topic.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Examples should be relevant and detailed to effectively illustrate and strengthen your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Addiction
  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
  • Nicotine
  • Public health initiative
  • Secondhand smoke
  • Substance abuse
  • Tobacco cessation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Social norms
  • Healthcare burden
  • Preventive measures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: