The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.

The bar chart illustrates the amount of several

export

commodities in a country between 2015 and 2016.

Overall

, the

export

values in all categories increased in 2016 compared to 2015 except for gems and jewellery which declined slightly in 2016. The petroleum products

export

amount went up approximately 2

billion

dollars

in 2016 to 63

billion

dollars

after their

last

trade in 2015 which is 61

billion

dollars

. The enginereed products transaction value started at 57

billion

dollars

in 2015,

then

, it surged to 62

billion

in 2016. The textile commodity trade amount

also

increased significantly in 2016 and reached 32

billion

dollars

compared to its prior year value which marks only 25

billion

dollars

. The agriculture products category increased a little bit around 1

billion

dollars

in 2016.

On the other hand

, gems and jewellery commodity value in

export

dropped from 43

billion

dollars

in 2015 to 41

billion

dollars

in 2016.

Submitted by hilmi.santiago.alif on Sun Dec 31 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words export, billion, dollars with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

153 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Consumers are facing increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies.

Some people say the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be used better elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?