Schools have a limited amount if money to spend. Some people suggest that it should be spend on good teachers,while others say it should be spent for computers.discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Education is an essential requirement for every human who lives in our society.
Moever
Correct your spelling
However
needs some financial support for the development of the inner side of the school. Some people argue that we need to invest some money in teachers, and others believe that we should spend money on computer facilities. In
this
essay, I will discuss both points of view and try to express my point of view. On the one hand, believe that education teachers
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
a vital role for the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. If they do not learn intensive teaching techniques,
then
they will not be effective in their professional
as well as
personal lives. For that reason, they not only get a good human being, but they
also
create a nation.
For example
, Dr. Abul Kalam Azad was a good teacher for every learner. A lot of people learned from them, and they succeeded in life.
On the other hand
,
technology
is a burning issue right now worldwide. If we want to develop our new generation,
then
without
technology
, it should not be possible, and for that reason, they want to believe that we need to invest some money in
technology
.
Then
they will compete with the
job
market
as well as
create a
job
sector for others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
is a huge opportunity created by
technology
.
For instance
, in the global market, they have a lot of opportunities for doing any kind of
job
, like graphic design,
job
sheets, and others. If you have a computer and skills,
then
you can take advantage of
this
advantage. In my opinion, these two have the same requirements for our new generation because we are passing the modern era. Both have requirements for a good education;
otherwise
, they will not be able to meet our employment requirements in the organization.
This
is totally a
vice versa
Add a hyphen
vice-versa
show examples
thing; if we do not provide competent teachers, they cannot become good students, and without educational
technology
, they will be totally worthless
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
our society. In conclusion, if we want a talented and skilled generation,
then
we need some investment from both sides;
otherwise
, it should not be possible for a great future.
Submitted by nuresadikchowdhury175 on

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coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent tense and avoid shifting from past tense to present or future without clear reason. Clarify your ideas and arguments; avoid vague statements. Enhance the logical flow of the essay by using cohesive devices effectively and arranging ideas in a clear, logical order.
task achievement
Ensure full coverage of the task by discussing both views comprehensively before stating your opinion. Use concrete examples to support your points. Your conclusion should effectively summarize the content without introducing new information.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized attention
  • Adaptability
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Inspiration
  • Motivation
  • Lifelong learning
  • Irreplaceable
  • Modern educational technology
  • Early exposure
  • Interactive learning
  • Balanced approach
  • Technological aids
  • Future job markets
  • Need assessment
  • Investment priorities
  • Nurture
  • Educational software
  • Digital literacy
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