The charts below show the percentage of electricity consumed by diﬀerent sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the percentage of electricity consumed by diﬀerent sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

The pie charts illustrate

electricity

Use synonyms

consumptions

Fix the agreement mistake

consumption

show examples

by different sectors of Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

transport

Correct article usage

the transport

show examples

, residential, commercial, agriculture and mining sectors consumed

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

amount of

electricity

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

Aluminium , manufacturing and

otherb

Correct your spelling

other

metals used slightly different amounts of power in both years. In 2007,

electricity

Use synonyms

consumption for residential purposes accounted for 28% of

overall

Linking Words

energy followed by commercial at 23%. And

also

Linking Words

power used for mining accounted for 9%.

However

Linking Words

Transport

Correct article usage

the Transport

show examples

and agriculture

sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

show examples

consumed only 2%, both of which used 1% respectively.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Industries like Aluminium, manufacturing and other metals used

electricity

Use synonyms

power 13%,13% and 12% respectively.

On the other hand

Linking Words

in 2010,

electricity

Use synonyms

consumed for transport, commercial,agriculture, mining and residential remained

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

as in 2007. But

Aluminium

Correct article usage

the Aluminium

show examples

and manufacturing sectors used

electricity

Use synonyms

slightly reduced compared to 2007 which accounted for 11% and 9% respectively.

However

Linking Words

, other metals consumed 18%

energy

Change preposition

of energy

show examples

in 2010 which increased by 6%.

Praslah

Dec 31, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

151 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that having a pet such as a cat or a dog helps older people live a more enjoyable life and try to stay healthier. How do you think older people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there is a problem with older people having pets? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is no denying that having pets brings many positives to people, especially seniors. This essay agrees that there are emotional and some health advantages to adopting a cat or a dog for older people.
7
band
Smacking children to is the best method to discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Disciplining children is the one of important things to do as the guardian, without discipline, children will be uncontrollable and difficult to deal with. One of the methods to make them disciplined is to smack them, despite that method working, I personally disagree because is not good for children's behaviour. It might lead them to become a bully or have mental issues when they get older.
8
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no denying that science plays a vital role in human life. In fact, I agree that science should be to improve people’s lives for two main reasons.
6
band
An organisation has given an advertisement for part time volunteering job for local children. Write a letter to the administrator of the organisation in your letter introduce yourself Why you think you are suitable for this. Job State when you will be able to join
I hope this letter finds you well.I have heard from one of my friends that your organisation is hosting an event for unprivileged children to support them in education.My name is Maahi Sharma, I have participated in various charity firms in the Peel region.
6
band
Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Since the early 2000s, most developed countries have invested in space exploration, particularly spacecrafts. It is widely believed that these investments are not essential for collective development, and that money should be spent on different fields such as technological advancements or educational services. I firmly believe that space expenditure plays a crucial role in national development, but a balanced approach between space and other fields should be implemented.

The charts below show the percentage of electricity consumed by diﬀerent sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

Smacking children to is the best method to discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An organisation has given an advertisement for part time volunteering job for local children. Write a letter to the administrator of the organisation in your letter introduce yourself Why you think you are suitable for this. Job State when you will be able to join

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?