IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Newspapers have an enormous influence on people’s opinions and ideas. Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

#newspapers #influence #people’s #situation
Nowadays,
information
 can be accessed by various methods on different platforms. News and current
events
 can be passed around using texts and papers
such
 as
newspapers
 and magazines. I believe
newspapers
 have many positive impacts on
society
 as they connect many factors,
such
 as social and political, which will be explained in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with,
newspapers
 can be a reliable source of
information
where
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 they contain actual
information
 about some
events
 in a certain country. In Indonesia, the newspaper's functionality can be seen during big
events
such
 as the democracy party. The
newspapers
 can provide
information
 about the president’s candidacy and their current campaign situation, where they
produces
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
 new perspectives and opinions from the
society
.
Therefore
, media,
such
 as
newspapers
,
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
show examples
 an important role as a reservoir for people's thoughts of big
events
 in a certain country. Other than that,
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 could act as a vessel for a country to current situations and
events
 in other countries.
For example
, a great war has been happening between Israel and Gaza since 6 months ago, and media platforms
such
 as
newspapers
 are the only way for other countries to know the current
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
 and ways to help them.
Furthermore
,
newspapers
 provide various channels to help the weaker side of the war. People's point of view is really affected by news from the media, which explains the importance of the newspaper's credibility and authenticity. It can be concluded that
newspapers
 are an essential feature in a
society
 where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 greatly affect people's opinions and ideas.
Newspapers
 can act as a platform for exchanging ideas and getting new perspectives on certain
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, which could raise awareness about current problems and improve the critical thinking ability of a
society
.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the connection between ideas is smooth with appropriate use of linking words.
coherence cohesion
The essay's main points are generally supported, but some points require further development. Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
While you have addressed the topic, your response needs to delve deeper into the implications of newspapers' influence. To achieve a higher score, comprehensively explore both positive and negative situations rather than focusing predominantly on the positive aspects. Offer a balanced argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but at times they lack depth. Develop your ideas further, providing comprehensive explanations and considering multiple viewpoints. Strive for a more nuanced discussion of the topic.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is somewhat limited and generic. Incorporate more relevant and concrete examples to substantiate your points. Doing so will help the reader understand the real-world impact of newspapers on people's opinions and ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • opinions
  • perspectives
  • crucial
  • informing
  • educating
  • biased
  • sensationalized
  • shape
  • attitudes
What to do next:
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