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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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A glance at the bar chart provided reveals some information about
gender
Correct article usage
the gender
show examples
 distribution of attendees from five different countries, namely Singapore, Malaysia, China,
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
, and France in a computer science course with two options
include
Wrong verb form
including
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 networking
core
Use synonyms
 and database
core
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 China has the most enrollments in both genders, in inverse proportion, France has the least of those.
While
Linking Words
 Chinese women mostly prefer
networking
Correct article usage
the networking
show examples
core
Use synonyms
 option, all three French women enrolled in
database
Correct article usage
the database
show examples
core
Use synonyms
 option.
Total
Change the article
A total
The total
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number
Use synonyms
 of male
students
Use synonyms
 from China who registered for
networking
Correct article usage
the networking
show examples
 and database
core
Use synonyms
 option is eight with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of one to seven, respectively. Just two men from France chose to study abroad and
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of them in these two fields
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the same.
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
 and Singapore have striking similarities in
number
Use synonyms
 of attendees.
Total
Change the article
A total
The total
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 from
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
 is 12, very much the same as that of
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Singapore. The
number
Use synonyms
 of male
students
Use synonyms
 in
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 twice as many as female
students
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
female
Change preposition
of female
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students
Use synonyms
 from Malaysia is greater than that of
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male
students
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of seven to four.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sri, lanka, core, number, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment
  • overseas students
  • third year
  • Computer Science course
  • Canadian college
  • trends
  • plateau
  • significant changes
  • economic factors
  • educational reputation
  • dynamics
  • implications
  • resource planning
  • classroom diversity
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