Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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There is no denying the fact that the importance of economics and developing financial success by increasing business chances.
While
Linking Words
it is commonly held belief that it is better to change public spaces to residential areas. There is
also
Linking Words
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I believe that these public parks are important in our life
which
Correct word choice
and
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plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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many crucial roles.
To begin
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with, keeping our planet green gives us more energy to work out.
In other words
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, if we reduce green areas, the number of societies that
make
Verb problem
apply
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exercises
Correct subject-verb agreement
exercise
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will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sharp
Change the word
sharply
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decrease which could impact them and
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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a significant change in their day.
In addition
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, saving it will give us a healthier lifestyle.
For example
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, those areas including trees give us pure oxygen and a place to motivate. Another point to consider may be that parks give a historical belief. It is
also
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possible to say that, places play an important role in the history of the city changing it could cause problems.
Moreover
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, places have emotional memories for people.
For instance
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, if your first kiss was in one of these parks, you may return to
this
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place to enjoy
this
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memory.
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task achievement
Your essay somewhat addresses the topic, but you need to more fully develop your argument. You should state your position clearly in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. Address the counterargument regarding the necessity for residential or business space more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay requires improvement. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is fully developed and supported by the rest of the paragraph. Ensure your ideas flow logically from one to the next with appropriate use of linking words.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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