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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The maps show Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps show Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #southside #mall #plans #development #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two maps illustrate the
planed
Correct your spelling
planned
show examples
 future
expantion
Correct your spelling
expansion
 of
Southside
Correct article usage
the Southside
show examples
 shopping mall and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 situation.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
Correct your spelling
future
futer
Correct your spelling
future
 plan will expand the car park,
while
recerving
Correct your spelling
reserving
receiving
preserving
 more space for
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 fashion related
stores
. Currently,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the Southside shopping mall
oly
Correct your spelling
only
 contain a cafe, a play area, a Noodle shop, a
suprmarket
Correct your spelling
supermarket
, a toilet and a department store.
As well as
 there is a fitness
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
side
 of the map. The entire East
side
 of the shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has
used
Add a missing verb
been used
show examples
 to entertain with
with
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the help of its Golf club and the park.
According to
 the
Correct your spelling
proposal
proporsal
Correct your spelling
proposal
, the golf course and the park will be demolished and the department store will move towards the east
side
.
Moreovr
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the whole North
side
 of the shopping mall
wll
Correct your spelling
will
 be full fill
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 fashion and
beauty related
Add a hyphen
beauty-related
show examples
stores
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
beauty
Correct article usage
a beauty
show examples
 salon, two shoe
stores
 and
cosmetics
Correct article usage
a cosmetics
show examples
 shop.
Likewise
, there will be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 infor
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and more fashion
stores
 on the west
side
 and the North
side
 of the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, respectively.
Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words stores, center, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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