Some people think that a life is good for people as it is while others believe that constant change can be too demanding on people. Discuss both views and give your opinion

nowadays people
has
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have
show examples
option
Add an article
the option
an option
show examples
either want to strive better or stay in their comfort zone in their professional career and it depends on what they want to achieve in their
life
. in
this
essay
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essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will examine both sides of
argument
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the argument
an argument
show examples
and present my point of view. people who think that
life
is better as it is and very comfortable in what they have now is because they have the basic
thing
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things
show examples
they want in their
life
for example
a good working hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
good working hours
a good working hour
show examples
,
good
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a good
the good
show examples
salary that enough for their basic
nessecities
Correct your spelling
necessities
and
working
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a working
show examples
place
that is
near to their house.
likewise
, their workload is not that heavy and they are doing the same job
everyday
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every day
show examples
and no stress at
work
.
morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
their mental health is not affected because they have a lot of
times
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time
show examples
to do other things other than
work
.  
in
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On
show examples
the other hand , people with
career oriented
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career-oriented
show examples
always strive to be better and being stagnant in their career is not the option they have.
they
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They
show examples
have goals they want to achieve in a certain period of time and
this
drive
Fix the agreement mistake
drives
show examples
and motivate them to go
further
.
for example
, in corporate
life
they will ascend and climb the ladder and as they ascend many responsibilities and
work
demand will increase.
this
in fact can affect their mental health
for example
depression in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long term because they are
self driven
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self-driven
show examples
to always think and
work
to seize every opportunity
thats
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that's
that
given to them.   in
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
and cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
both views and for
me
Change the pronoun
my
show examples
mental health is everything. if anyone can manage and cope with the stressful and demanding situation at
work
and still have time for themselves,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
a
win win
Add a hyphen
win-win
show examples
situation for both sides.
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coherence cohesion
A good essay needs to showcase a clear structure which includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. It's important to carefully organize ideas so that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences are directly relevant to the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs. This will make the flow of your essay smoother, which increases the overall coherence. These devices include connecting words and phrases like 'furthermore', 'however', 'in contrast', 'for example', and 'as a result'.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clear but they need to be developed further with more specific examples and explanations. When presenting an opinion, go beyond stating what the opinion is and explain why it's held or what its implications are. This will greatly improve task achievement.
task achievement
It's critical to go beyond simply stating viewpoints and provide a more detailed and nuanced discussion of the topic. This includes giving reasons, examples from real life, and considering possible consequences or implications for the individual and society.
coherence cohesion
Check for sentence structure and punctuation errors, as these can hinder the reader's understanding. Correct use of punctuation and varied sentence structures can significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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