IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In
this
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 modern society, many individuals tend to be self-employed rather than work for other
people
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 in a
company
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.
This
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 action can be caused by various problems of how hard it is to be an office worker.
However
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, working by ourselves has several disadvantages. The more
people
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 in a
company
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, the more kinds of cultures will be happening. Toxic is not harming
people
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 directly but it hurts humanity and society. Some offices may have benefits to their employees but in
this
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 world, there are countless firms that still hold toxic cultures. One of the examples is I have a friend
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 told me a story when her friend joined
overseas
Correct article usage
an overseas
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company
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. At
first,
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it went really well but as it
goes
Wrong verb form
went on
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, the co-workers began to spread something bad about her for having a language barrier.
As a result
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, she decided to resign and start to find a journey
to
Change preposition
in
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 her career.
On the other hand
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, being self-employed does not always bring
people
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 to profit, sometimes, there will be sacrifice. Self-employment requires
people
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 to work alone and find their own positions. To compare it, in a
Use synonyms
company
Add a comma
company,
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 there will be a huge structure but working alone means no teams, no organization structures, or sometimes no
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
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 at all. It leads to big risks when you are a beginner.
For instance
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, my friend prefers to become self-employed and one day, there is an issue that he needs to face.
Consequently
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, no one can give him some advice and it leads to
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
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 for him. In conclusion, both choices depend on how the individuals will lead
on
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apply
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. Personally, I think being a
self-employee
Correct your spelling
self-employed
show examples
 is better even though there is a huge risk in it.

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task achievement
Your essay somewhat addresses the question but lacks depth in the analysis. It's crucial that you provide a thorough explanation of the reasons behind the trend towards self-employment, as well as a detailed evaluation of its disadvantages. For a higher score, deepen the exploration of ideas and ensure that each paragraph purposefully contributes to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays an attempt at structuring ideas but needs to be more logically organized. Clearer paragraphing with topic sentences would enhance understanding. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to that idea. Transitions between ideas should be smooth and coherent.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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