Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether university learners should work
on
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in
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irregular occupations
while
studying is still a controversial issue. Some individuals insist that the hands-on experiences for work before getting regular jobs have significantly positive influences on
crucial
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the crucial
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moment
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moments
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when they should decide on their directions for
future
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the future
show examples
after graduation, but others
who
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apply
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reckon that activities squander the meaningful
time
for educatee to have to work on their tasks. Despite
of
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apply
show examples
various pros and cons, trying to implement works before diving into actual society brings enormously
benefical
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beneficial
effects on
lives
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the lives
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of
students
in various aspects. First of all, pupils are capable
to control
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of controlling
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their
time
by organizing hectic schedules to distribute
in efficient
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inefficient
show examples
methods. Their constant problem is
time
constraints as they have to be hard on their learning during
semester
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the semester
a semester
show examples
, simultaneously with their working activities. Along the way, they would attain various tips and their own measures to manage their limited
time
. Taking some Youtubers who show their productive lives as an instance, it is seen that they have a habit of starting their day
with
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by
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making
palns
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plans
by distributing to-do lists
adquately
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adequately
, which facilitates
to give
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giving
show examples
positive
stimuluses
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stimuli
show examples
to their subscribers as well.
Last
but not least, before leaping into
realistic
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a realistic
the realistic
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society that should be required to manage our financial state,
students
enable
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are able
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to make their economic plans for
future
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the future
show examples
by investing and saving their income in practical ways. In conclusion, experiencing
interminet
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internet
works
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work
show examples
during their
students
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student's
students'
show examples
ages can be a
wholsome
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wholesome
activity to gear up for their near future in advance.
Thus
,
the
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apply
show examples
direct experience should be required
to
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for
show examples
students
.
Submitted by uzookim on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides some degree of logical sequencing but lacks clear transitions and connectors between ideas which are critical for smooth readability. More attention to paragraph structure and the use of cohesive devices is required to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and a strong thesis statement. The essay needs a definitive stance in the conclusion, summarizing the main points while reiterating the writer's position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The main points are present but not fully developed. Each paragraph should contain a clear topic sentence, followed by support in the form of examples or explanations, and a concluding sentence that ties back into the overall argument.
task achievement
The essay somewhat addresses the task; however, it fails to fully extend and support ideas. For a higher score, the response must thoroughly explore the implications and complexities of the topic, and provide a balanced view if discussing different sides.
task achievement
The ideas presented are on the right track but need to be developed more clearly and comprehensively. Strive to express ideas in a clear, well-organized manner, with a focus on expanding and supporting each point sufficiently.
task achievement
Examples used are somewhat relevant but need to be specific and clearly linked to the argument. Demonstrating the point with concrete examples will improve the efficacy of the argument and the overall quality of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • time management
  • practical experience
  • competitive edge
  • responsibility
  • financial independence
  • budgeting
  • academic performance
  • relevance
  • professional network
  • burnout
  • balance
  • accountability
  • maturity
What to do next:
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