Some students take a gap year after graduating high school to work and/or travel. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

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A gap
year
is taken by some
pulpil
Correct your spelling
pupil
pulpit
before starting their degree in the same
year
as finishing secondary school or a trip.
This
essay will discuss both
advantage
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advantages
show examples
and
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
and I will conclude with my personal opinion. Currently, there is a widespread concern within the public domain over the issue of
take
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taking
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a
year
out. It can
also
mean that they are able to learn a new language
for
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to
show examples
gain new skills,
knowledge
Correct word choice
and knowledge
show examples
.
Consequently
, they are able to understand the relevance of what is being
tought
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taught
sought
.
Others
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Another
show examples
reason for being used to take a break is that
although
,
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apply
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a gap
year
is taken ,
this
can be very beneficial because they can gain new ideas and cultures.
For instance
, if they need to
be planned
Wrong verb form
plan
show examples
carefully in advance to
go
Verb problem
apply
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travel
in
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apply
show examples
overseas,they would like to say that the culture
from
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of
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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country
that is
different from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
customs.
However
, many students believe that
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a
year
out is a bad idea
that
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and that
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it
wasted
Wrong verb form
wastes
show examples
time.
For example
, it is slow or late before attending university and working as
professional
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professionals
show examples
what
Correct word choice
as
show examples
they
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
.
Hence
,they do not have to take a gap
year
after they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
from college.
Conclusion
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In conclusion
show examples
, It is not important to do that it depends on what you need. if you require to take a
year
out , I should you do that because the time is used wisely or not wasted but used productively.the
year
needs to be planned carefully in advance to get the most from experience.
Submitted by sasi.jariyasirikul on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the line of reasoning. Consider using clear paragraphs to organize your ideas effectively and employ cohesive devices to create a more coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are identifiable, but they are not entirely effective. The introduction should offer a clear thesis statement that outlines the structure of the essay, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's position more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Support for the main points is limited and underdeveloped. It is essential to elaborate on key ideas with supporting arguments and examples, which are largely absent or irrelevant in this essay. Each advantage or disadvantage should be clearly discussed with appropriate and convincing detail.
task achievement
The response is incomplete as it fails to fully answer the question. There's a need to discuss both advantages and disadvantages more comprehensively, providing a balanced view that addresses the essay prompt.
task achievement
Ideas are presented confusingly and are often unclear, which may confuse the reader. Strive to express your thoughts clearly, using precise language and full sentences. Aim to elaborate on each point with clear explanations and ensure that the paragraphs follow a logical progression based on the task provided.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples to support arguments is inadequate. When discussing advantages and disadvantages, try to include specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points more vividly. These examples should be directly related to the topic and help to reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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