Some students take a gap year after graduating high school to work and/or travel. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
A gap
year
is taken by some pulpil
before starting their degree in the same Correct your spelling
pupil
pulpit
year
as finishing secondary school or a trip. This
essay will discuss both advantage
and Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
drawback
and I will conclude with my personal opinion.
Currently, there is a widespread concern within the public domain over the issue of Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
take
a Change the verb form
taking
year
out. It can also
mean that they are able to learn a new language for
gain new skills, Change preposition
to
knowledge
. Correct word choice
and knowledge
Consequently
, they are able to understand the relevance of what is being tought
.
Correct your spelling
taught
sought
Others
reason for being used to take a break is that Correct quantifier usage
Another
although
,
a gap Remove the comma
apply
year
is taken ,this
can be very beneficial because they can gain new ideas and cultures. For instance
, if they need to be planned
carefully in advance to Wrong verb form
plan
go
travel Verb problem
apply
in
overseas,they would like to say that the culture Change preposition
apply
from
Change preposition
of
others
country Correct quantifier usage
other
that is
different from own
customs.
Correct pronoun usage
their own
However
, many students believe that take
a Wrong verb form
taking
year
out is a bad idea that
it Correct word choice
and that
wasted
time. Wrong verb form
wastes
For example
, it is slow or late before attending university and working as professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
what
they Correct word choice
as
required
. Wrong verb form
require
Hence
,they do not have to take a gap year
after they graduated
from college.
Wrong verb form
graduate
Conclusion
, It is not important to do that it depends on what you need. if you require to take a Change preposition
In conclusion
year
out , I should you do that because the time is used wisely or not wasted but used productively.the year
needs to be planned carefully in advance to get the most from experience.Submitted by sasi.jariyasirikul on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the line of reasoning. Consider using clear paragraphs to organize your ideas effectively and employ cohesive devices to create a more coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are identifiable, but they are not entirely effective. The introduction should offer a clear thesis statement that outlines the structure of the essay, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's position more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Support for the main points is limited and underdeveloped. It is essential to elaborate on key ideas with supporting arguments and examples, which are largely absent or irrelevant in this essay. Each advantage or disadvantage should be clearly discussed with appropriate and convincing detail.
task achievement
The response is incomplete as it fails to fully answer the question. There's a need to discuss both advantages and disadvantages more comprehensively, providing a balanced view that addresses the essay prompt.
task achievement
Ideas are presented confusingly and are often unclear, which may confuse the reader. Strive to express your thoughts clearly, using precise language and full sentences. Aim to elaborate on each point with clear explanations and ensure that the paragraphs follow a logical progression based on the task provided.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples to support arguments is inadequate. When discussing advantages and disadvantages, try to include specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points more vividly. These examples should be directly related to the topic and help to reinforce your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
