In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The life
expentency
of Correct your spelling
expectancy
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
arounf
the world has significantly increased in recent years, resulting in Correct your spelling
around
record
growing old population. In Britain and many other countries, when grow old and Correct article usage
a record
unable
to do their own day-to-day life, they usually take Add a missing verb
are unable
shelther
in old-aged home. Correct your spelling
shelter
In other words
, the Linking Words
rapid
growing Change the word
rapidly
aging
population requires sustainable solutions for Change the spelling
ageing
ther
elderly Correct your spelling
the
their
care
. Use synonyms
Although
families Linking Words
care
Use synonyms
their
elder Change preposition
for their
member
at home and try their best to provide all the necessary Fix the agreement mistake
members
services
, I strongly Use synonyms
believ
that Correct your spelling
believe
government
should be more responsible Use synonyms
on
sponsoring for their Change preposition
apply
services
and Use synonyms
care
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, Linking Words
i
will be exploring my opinion with some instances.
During the productive age, Change the capitalization
I
people
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
certain
amount from their income as tax and paid to Change the article
a certain
Use synonyms
government
. Add an article
the government
Use synonyms
Government
utilizes those Add an article
The government
amound
received from Correct your spelling
funds
it's
Replace the word
its
citizen
for various development activities. In Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
this
case, it is obvious that it is the Linking Words
responsibilities
of the Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
government
to provide various Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
people
during their old stage including their health Use synonyms
services
. To stress Use synonyms
it
more, health-related expenses like regular check-ups, medication, and other necessary health Correct pronoun usage
apply
services
should be free of charge for the elder Use synonyms
citizena
and Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
it's
cost should be borne by the Replace the word
its
government
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, Caring for the elderly Linking Words
people
needs skilled and Use synonyms
efficent
manpower including healthcare workers and caretakers. In Correct your spelling
efficient
this
case, Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
is one of Add an article
the government
responsible
Correct article usage
the responsible
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
to manage
these professionals. Change preposition
in managing
In other words
, Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
possess the Correct article usage
the government
capicity
to recruit skilled workers who are Correct your spelling
capability
spelized
in aged-Correct your spelling
specialised
care
Use synonyms
services
. Building and operating the community house might take millions of cost which is hard to manage at an individual level. In Use synonyms
this
case, Linking Words
Correct article usage
the governmet
governmet
should be responsible to take the responsibility regarding Correct your spelling
government
this
matter.
Linking Words
To sum up
, Linking Words
although
families Linking Words
plays
an important role in providing emotional and social support for the elderly citizen, I strongly believe that it is the responsibility of the Change the verb form
play
government
to sponsor the Use synonyms
services
and Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
to
them so that they would be able to live Change preposition
for
secure
life in their old stage too.Add an article
a secure
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly paraphrases the prompt and presents your thesis statement. The introduction in this essay could be improved by directly addressing the question of who should pay for elderly care.
logical structure
Work on the logical flow of ideas. While the essay presents an argument, transitions between points and paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, avoid any repetition of ideas.
supported main points
Aim to develop main points with specific examples or evidence. The essay lacks specific, detailed examples to strengthen the arguments presented.
complete response
To improve task achievement, make sure you thoroughly address all parts of the prompt. This essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion of both perspectives, even if one is favored over the other.
clear comprehensive ideas
To communicate ideas more effectively, ensure clarity and precision in your argument. This can be achieved by structuring sentences and paragraphs in a way that underscores the argument, avoiding overly complex sentence structures.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate real-world examples or personal experiences to support your views. This will help to satisfy the task requirement for relevant, specific examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.