Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
With the high consumption of sugary products over time that has led to severe medical conditions
such
as diabetes, I agree with the idea of rising
the price of these products as a way to discourage people from consuming Correct your spelling
raising
it
on a regular basis. The reason for Correct pronoun usage
them
that is
it is one of the fastest and most effective way
to bring out remarkable results other than the traditional ones.
As for consumers of anything, price is one of the major considerations when it comes to shopping Change to a plural noun
ways
groceries
. In Change preposition
for groceries
comparision
with the increase in general food categories subject to Correct your spelling
comparison
the
inflation on going, sweets, coke, and other products containing a great amount of Correct article usage
apply
sugar
are way too accessible and more affordable. As a result
, people are just secretly pushed to that end and then
are seen to have more likelihood of contracting relevant medical considtions
Correct your spelling
considerations
conditions
due to
an increasing
Replace the word
increase
of
Change preposition
in
sugar
intake. For instance
, America
in 2015 Change preposition
in America
got
35% more of the population Verb problem
apply
diagnosed
with obesity and overweight resulting from their bad food choices.
Add a missing verb
was diagnosed
Consequently
, as soon as the increased pricing targeting at
Change preposition
of
sugar
addicts is implemented, there will definitely be a noticeable decrease in the
consumption. In many economies, costs are the driving elements towards consumer behaviours that are often determined by governments if they want to achieve a quick result within a short period of time. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, in 2005, children in the UK were reported to buy less
lollies since they were made overpriced Change the quantifier
fewer
that
did not suit the pocket money given by their parents.
In conclusion, I support the recommendation of lifting up prices of unhealthy food and beverages that consist much of Correct pronoun usage
which
sugar
as a method to shift consumers' mindset to a more healthy diet to prevent the chance of medical problems.Submitted by camcat.viking on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly addresses the prompt and presents your viewpoint effectively. Your introduction should set the tone for the essay and include a thesis statement that reflects the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points with a deeper analysis and more nuanced argumentation. You should aim to provide a thorough exploration of the reasons behind your perspective.
Task Achievement
Include more varied and accurate examples to support your arguments. Real-world examples, studies or statistics can significantly enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a more consistent and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Aim for clear and purposeful paragraphing, with each paragraph focused on a single main idea that is well-developed and connected to the overall thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to structure your essay and connect your ideas more clearly and effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion should summarize the main points discussed in the essay and reaffirm your thesis. It should provide a final, definitive stance on the topic without introducing new information.
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