Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In today’s
interconnect
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interconnected
show examples
society
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, there is a prevailing proposition that
children
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should taught by their
parents
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,
whereas
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others believe that sending
children
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to educational establishments is the best
way
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for them.
Although
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both ways sound beneficial, I believe
when
Correct word choice
that
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parents
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take care of their
children
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and upbringing them plays a more significant role in educating
children
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to be good members of
society
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.
Schools
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and colleges can be considered relevant places for
children
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to learn to be good citizens. I think there is insufficiency in
this
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idea. In view of the fact that these institutions do not teach
children
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how to behave in
society
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to
good
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be good
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individual
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individuals
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.
For example
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, Samad
school
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School
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and Vugar
school
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School
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are well-known for having nurtured successful alumni
such
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as Nobel winner professor Aliyev who
have
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has
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devoted his talents
for
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to
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development
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the development
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of his country.
However
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, he represents a small proportion of students attending
schools
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and
thus
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sending
children
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to
schools
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can not always
the
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be the
show examples
best idea for being good members of current
society
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. I believe that
parents
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play a crucial role in teaching them how to be good human beings. At home, you can easily only focus your
children
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and teach them in
best
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the best
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way
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but classes
considered
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are considered
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as 25 students and
this
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is not
proper
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the proper
a proper
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way
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to
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
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them how to be
good
Add an article
a good
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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.
For instance
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, the writer Elxan Elatli did not
attended
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attend
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to
Change preposition
apply
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school. His
parents
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looked after him carefully and he is
good
Correct article usage
a good
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, famous writer in his country.
To conclude
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Correct pronoun usage
apply
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this
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,
although
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sending
children
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to
Use synonyms
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
can be seen as
good
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a good
show examples
way
Use synonyms
, I believe that upbringing
children
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at home
have
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has
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
positive impact​
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. It was observed that the essay lacks clear transitions and the organization of ideas could be improved by using cohesive devices to better link paragraphs and sentences. Additionally, consider developing your ideas further to ensure clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay should comprehensively respond to all parts of the question. While the essay mentions both views and provides a personal opinion, the development of these ideas is lacking. Points raised are not fully elaborated, and examples, while present, are not always relevant or adequately explained. Consider expanding on each point, clearly explaining how it supports the argument you are making.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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