Some university students want to learn about other subjects inaddition to their major subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to their main subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Public concern regarding creating programs to learn supplement
materials
in the curriculums becomes increasingly topical since some people argue that it is essential for students
only
learn and focus on their prime speciality. Fix the infinitive
to only
To
Change preposition
In to
response
Replace the word
respond
this
aforementioned issue, I explain my arguments Change preposition
to this
in
both Change preposition
from
point
of Change to a plural noun
points
views
and argue that giving supplementary Fix the agreement mistake
view
for
Change preposition
to
students
has postitive
impacts Correct your spelling
positive
in
their Change preposition
on
future
.
Firstly
, concerning main
speciality forms learners to be specialists who are needed in the Change the article
the main
future
. The reason is they study a spesific knowladge
for a long time, so Correct your spelling
specific knowledge
this
activity can enhance their skills and understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
about
the Change preposition
of
materials
. Take Finlandia as one example, in the
most universities, Correct article usage
apply
freshmans
have to follow the programs which were generated to create specialists. Correct your spelling
freshmen
freshman
Therefore
, these activities consist of four years to sharpen students
' brains and prepare them to be expertises in the spesific
field. Correct your spelling
specific
However
, sometimes students
change their preference in the mid
of the term since they feel uncomfortable with their major because of the difficulties they should overcome. Correct your spelling
middle
However
, students
do not have sufficient acknowlages
to select Correct your spelling
acknowledgement
their
appropriate majors Change the word
the
which
they prefer.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
On the other hand
, studying additional materials
gives positive developments for the upcoming life due to
the board
understanding. The reason is that they can explore any Change noun form
board's
materials
which thay
want, so they can experience about what field they are suitable Correct your spelling
they
or
not. Change preposition
for or
Therefore
, they can decide the right decision related to their specification in their
Change the word
the
future
by weighting
many considerations that they faced Correct your spelling
weighing
while
learning from various resources. Another reason is that the program still place
the primary major as the priority so the student can still learn and focus without abandoning it. Change the verb form
places
Therefore
, they can have a wide choice when they face to
search Verb problem
apply
jobs
because they have enormous skills.
Change preposition
for jobs
To sum up
, even though focusing on one major can form specialities for students
, it will be not flexible if students
tend to change their destiny. In contrast
, adding other materials
in students
' program
in university Fix the agreement mistake
programs
give
beneficial impacts Verb problem
has
to
Change preposition
on
students
' future
life
because of the board Fix the agreement mistake
lives
knowlage
and skills for Correct your spelling
knowledge
jobs
requirements.Change the noun form
job
Submitted by akunyesikafikan1814 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow and clear progression of ideas. The essay could benefit from improved paragraph transitions and better organization of thoughts to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Make sure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the topic and your opinion clearly. While both were present, they were not as clear and impactful as they needed to be.
coherence cohesion
Ensure main points are well-developed and supported by clear, relevant examples. While you presented several ideas, the support provided lacked depth and specificity, making the arguments less persuasive.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. While you attempted to cover the requirements of the task, the depth of the discussion was somewhat superficial, and the opinion was not consistently clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your response. Several ideas were introduced but not developed fully, leading to a lack of comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. The essay lacked concrete examples to illustrate the points being made, making it harder for the reader to understand your perspective.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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