In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

In the Contemporary era, there is a
trend
of having a gap of a year between finishing high school and starting university studies as in many countries folks are promoting
this
trend
by working or travelling before going to college for
education
.In
this
essay, I will try to explain the merits and pitfalls of
this
trend
. The preponderant advantage, for young
people
who decide to do
work
is that they are getting a little break from
study
as well as
by doing some
work
they can save some
money
for their
further
study
as universities or college fees are very high.
For example
, most
people
in Canada take
pause
Add an article
a pause
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the period of high school and university
study
to do some
work
so they can earn or save enough amount of
money
to pursue their
education
in future.
Hence
,
this
trend
can be helpful to poor
people
as they are saving their own
money
for
education
and do not put any pressure or burden on the families
instead
they are becoming a helping hand to them. Despite
this
, there are
also
many disadvantages of
this
trend
like as many youngsters
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
starting to
work
and they are earning enough amount of
money
and their interest in studying is getting fainted.
In addition
to
this
, It becomes difficult for folks to give proper focus and attention to their
study
because of the discontinuity.
For instance
, In many countries, there are many
people
who find it difficult to learn things after a gap of a year in college because they forget the things which they learned in high school.
Therefore
,
this
trendtrend
Correct your spelling
trend
can become a weak point for students as they lose their interest in
education
while
working. In conclusion,having breaks in between the
study
has some favours
as well as
some drawbacks but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if
people
have a proper mindset about their future.
Submitted by sirat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should play its role effectively, with the introduction setting the stage for the discussion, the body paragraphs delving into the details of each side of the argument, and the conclusion summarizing your position.
coherence cohesion
You need to present your ideas in a logical manner, with clear distinctions between your thoughts. Use linking words appropriately to show the connection between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed explanations or examples. These examples should be relevant and specific enough to clearly support the point you are trying to make. Work on integrating examples seamlessly into your argumentation.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. You have attempted to cover the advantages and disadvantages, but the development of each point can be improved. Make your ideas comprehensive and provide a balanced discussion on each.
task achievement
Your ideas should be not only relevant but also articulated clearly enough that the reader easily understands your arguments without confusion or ambiguity.
task achievement
To boost the task response score, it is crucial to provide more relevant examples that directly support your argument. Your examples are somewhat relevant but they could be further elaborated upon to strengthen your position.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: