IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do

#toy #company #manager #-describe #-explain #-tell
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to complain about an
item
 that
l
 bought
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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last
Change the article
the last
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monday
Change the capitalization
Monday
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by
Change preposition
from
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 your online store.
This
item
 arrived yesterday and
l
 am very
exciting
Replace the word
excited
show examples
 to open it.
Unfortunely
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
,
this
item
 has some problems when
l
 try to use it.
This
item
 that
l
 purchased is
toy
Correct article usage
a toy
show examples
car
 for my
son
.
This
car
 has
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
Change preposition
of color
show examples
color
Fix the agreement mistake
colors
show examples
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 red and blue. I buy it because my
son
 really
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
this
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
. When my
son
 used
this
car
 yesterday, my
son
 told me that
handle
Correct article usage
the handle
show examples
car
 door
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 broken. He can not open
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
 door. I already
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
video
Correct article usage
a video
show examples
 when
l
am unboxing
Wrong verb form
unboxed
show examples
 it, and
l
 already
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 your customer service. I hope that you can replace a new
car
 or fix
this
car
. Tell me if you need more information
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 claim
this
item
. Thank you Yours faithfully, Andrianto Raharja
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your letter has a logical structure by arranging ideas clearly. Start with an introduction, then explain the issues, and conclude with the action you expect.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use appropriate paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain a single idea or point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your greeting and closing are generally correct, but make sure to maintain a consistent level of formality throughout the letter.
Task Achievement
Complete the task by addressing all questions: describe the item accurately, detail the problems, and state clearly what resolution you want. Avoid vague statements.
Task Achievement
Use a more suitable writing tone for a formal letter. Avoid casual language and ensure you maintain formality throughout.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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