Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

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The qualitative assessment of an individual cannot be predicated solely upon their artistic predilections, specifically within the realms of painting and
music
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. Both painting and
music
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constitute inherently subjective domains;
however
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, the intrinsic diversity inherent in these artistic expressions indirectly facilitates profound self-discovery, engendering a heightened self-awareness and cultivating an augmented enthusiasm towards the diverse tapestry of paintings and
music
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.
Consequently
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, I dissent from the proposition that paintings and
music
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are devoid of the capacity to augment an individual's overarching quality.
Moreover
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, it is imperative to underscore that art of superior quality invariably commands considerable esteem.
Thus
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, the allocation of financial resources towards artistic projects necessarily demands robust governmental backing, exemplified by initiatives
such
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as orchestrating concerts within a designated region. The government can earmark funds to aid in the provision of accommodation and venues for performances, or the execution of painting exhibitions replete with facilities and exhibition stands.
This
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concerted effort establishes a symbiotic mutualism between artistic practitioners and connoisseurs of the arts. In summation, the realm of art, be it painting or
music
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, constitutes an integral facet of human existence. The appreciation of works by artistic practitioners is an invaluable pursuit, implying that artistic creations serve as catalysts, propelling individuals to continually elevate the quality of their lives in order to
savor
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savour
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the profound value inherent in the realm of
high-caliber
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high-calibre
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art.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure an effective logical structure by using clear and coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and should directly relate to the essay prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
An introduction and conclusion must be clear and explicitly reflect the main argument or viewpoint. Ensure that your conclusion reiterates your main points and refers back to the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support main points with clarity and detail. Avoid generalizations or overly complex ideas, and ensure that each point is relevant to the essay's prompt.
Task Achievement
Your response must be complete and cover all aspects of the prompt. You should address the essay question directly and develop your answer thoroughly.
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Express your ideas clearly and ensure they are easy for the reader to comprehend. Ideas should be logically organized and elaborated upon with examples and explanations.
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Include more relevant specific examples to illustrate your points and arguments. Examples strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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