Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #quality #government #money #projects

The qualitative assessment of an individual cannot be predicated solely upon their artistic predilections, specifically within the realms of painting and

music

. Both painting and

music

constitute inherently subjective domains;

however

, the intrinsic diversity inherent in these artistic expressions indirectly facilitates profound self-discovery, engendering a heightened self-awareness and cultivating an augmented enthusiasm towards the diverse tapestry of paintings and

music

Consequently

, I dissent from the proposition that paintings and

music

are devoid of the capacity to augment an individual's overarching quality.

Moreover

, it is imperative to underscore that art of superior quality invariably commands considerable esteem.

Thus

, the allocation of financial resources towards artistic projects necessarily demands robust governmental backing, exemplified by initiatives

such

as orchestrating concerts within a designated region. The government can earmark funds to aid in the provision of accommodation and venues for performances, or the execution of painting exhibitions replete with facilities and exhibition stands.

This

concerted effort establishes a symbiotic mutualism between artistic practitioners and connoisseurs of the arts. In summation, the realm of art, be it painting or

music

, constitutes an integral facet of human existence. The appreciation of works by artistic practitioners is an invaluable pursuit, implying that artistic creations serve as catalysts, propelling individuals to continually elevate the quality of their lives in order to

savor

Change the spelling

savour

show examples

the profound value inherent in the realm of

high-caliber

Change the spelling

high-calibre

show examples

art.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Jan 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure an effective logical structure by using clear and coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and should directly relate to the essay prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

An introduction and conclusion must be clear and explicitly reflect the main argument or viewpoint. Ensure that your conclusion reiterates your main points and refers back to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support main points with clarity and detail. Avoid generalizations or overly complex ideas, and ensure that each point is relevant to the essay's prompt.

Task Achievement

Your response must be complete and cover all aspects of the prompt. You should address the essay question directly and develop your answer thoroughly.

Task Achievement

Express your ideas clearly and ensure they are easy for the reader to comprehend. Ideas should be logically organized and elaborated upon with examples and explanations.

Task Achievement

Include more relevant specific examples to illustrate your points and arguments. Examples strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

224 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Wild animals are kept in zoos all over world. At present, zoos are a tourist attraction in many countries and need wild animals to attract vistors. I beleve that wild creatures should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative ways to see them.
5
band
Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that drinks with a lot of sugar should be priced higher to reduce people's glucose intake. This essay agrees with this statement because of the risk of consuming a high amount of sugar and that hiking the price up would promote a better global health for all.
7
band
Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?
In today's cosmopolitan world, in many major cities or countries, there are a lot of immigrants. As people travel more now than they ever did in the past and populations have had to adapt to this transitional lifestyle much more quickly than in the past, the government can do a number of things to support this, such as offering the proper education at schools besides
4.5
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
An increasing number of married couples around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a child for couples are that they can focus on their careers and have more time for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they could not fit into their peers’ group and have no one to look after them when they get old.
5.5
band
You and your family are moving to another country for work, and you are looking to buy a house there. Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: Introduce yourself and your family Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find Give your preference for the location of the accommodation Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: To Whom it May Concern,
I am writing this letter to buy a apartment in Halifax, Canada.

Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.