Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #quality #government #money #projects

The qualitative assessment of an individual cannot be predicated solely upon their artistic predilections, specifically within the realms of painting and

music

. Both painting and

music

constitute inherently subjective domains;

however

, the intrinsic diversity inherent in these artistic expressions indirectly facilitates profound self-discovery, engendering a heightened self-awareness and cultivating an augmented enthusiasm towards the diverse tapestry of paintings and

music

Consequently

, I dissent from the proposition that paintings and

music

are devoid of the capacity to augment an individual's overarching quality.

Moreover

, it is imperative to underscore that art of superior quality invariably commands considerable esteem.

Thus

, the allocation of financial resources towards artistic projects necessarily demands robust governmental backing, exemplified by initiatives

such

as orchestrating concerts within a designated region. The government can earmark funds to aid in the provision of accommodation and venues for performances, or the execution of painting exhibitions replete with facilities and exhibition stands.

This

concerted effort establishes a symbiotic mutualism between artistic practitioners and connoisseurs of the arts. In summation, the realm of art, be it painting or

music

, constitutes an integral facet of human existence. The appreciation of works by artistic practitioners is an invaluable pursuit, implying that artistic creations serve as catalysts, propelling individuals to continually elevate the quality of their lives in order to

savor

Change the spelling

savour

show examples

the profound value inherent in the realm of

high-caliber

Change the spelling

high-calibre

show examples

art.

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure an effective logical structure by using clear and coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and should directly relate to the essay prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

An introduction and conclusion must be clear and explicitly reflect the main argument or viewpoint. Ensure that your conclusion reiterates your main points and refers back to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support main points with clarity and detail. Avoid generalizations or overly complex ideas, and ensure that each point is relevant to the essay's prompt.

Task Achievement

Your response must be complete and cover all aspects of the prompt. You should address the essay question directly and develop your answer thoroughly.

Task Achievement

Express your ideas clearly and ensure they are easy for the reader to comprehend. Ideas should be logically organized and elaborated upon with examples and explanations.

Task Achievement

Include more relevant specific examples to illustrate your points and arguments. Examples strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

224 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

‘It is the job of governments and companies to deal with the huge environmental problems which we face. Individuals on their own can do little or nothing’. What is your opinion about this statement?