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Band 3.5

table about the data regarding full adn part time students men and female in britain

#data #adn #part #time #students #men #britain
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The chart illustrates the
number
 of male and female students, who continued additional full or
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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education
 in Britain between 1970/71 to 1990/91.
Overall
, the
number
 of both genders in full-time
education
 is significantly higher than
part-time
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in part-time
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education
 in the given timeline.
To begin
, the proportion of men in full-time
education
 started at 1000
thousands
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thousand
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 in 1970/71, which dropped marginally to 850
thousands
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thousand
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 in 1980/81, before rising slightly to 900
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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 in 1990/91. Meanwhile, full-time female students started relatively lower from 750
thousand
 in 1970/71 to rise consistently to 1100
thousand
 in 1990/91. It can be observed that the
number
 of females in full-time
education
 is higher than men within the given period.
By contrast
, the population of both genders in part-time
education
 experienced an upward trend, in 1970/71, the male
number
 started at 100
thousand
,
while
 the female
number
 was at approximately 50
thousand
.
However
, in 1990/91, both increased substantially to almost reach 250
thousand
.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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coherence cohesion
You've organized your essay with a logical structure, using clear paragraphs for each main point. To improve, ensure there is a smooth flow between ideas by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help create better cohesion throughout your essay.
task achievement
Although you have provided an overview and covered the general trends, you could enhance your response by summarizing the information more effectively. Also, it would be beneficial to provide a clearer conclusion to round off your analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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