IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

pie chart about difference in population three age groups in italy and yemene between 2000 and 2050

#difference #population #three #age #groups #yemene
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart illustrates the proportional differences between
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
age
groups
 in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and 2050.
Overall
, both populations reported the majority to be young and adult
age
groups
 in the past,
however
, Italy
predicted
Add a missing verb
is predicted
show examples
 to have a significant increase in older
people
 percentage by 2050.
To begin
, in 2000, the majority of the
population
 in Yemen
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50.1% was in the 0-14
age
 group.
However
, those aged between 15-59-years-old formed around 46.3% of the
population
. The lowest rate was for the
age
 group 60+ years with only 3.6% of the
people
.
By contrast
, in Italy, the percentage of
people
 aged between 15-
59-years-old
Correct your spelling
59 years old
 was higher at 61.6% and formed the vast majority of the
population
.
On the other hand
, lower percentages were recorded for both the 0-14 and 60+
age
groups
, at 14.3% and 24.1% each, respectively. It can be observed that in 2000, Yemen’s
population
 was younger than the one in Italy. It is expected that in 2050, Yemen will experience a significant increase in the 15–59 and 60+
age
groups
, to 57.3% and 5.7% each, respectively.
However
,
people
 aged
0-14-years-old
Correct your spelling
0-14 years old
 will fall marginally to 37.0%. Meanwhile, in Italy, the 0-14 and 15-59
age
groups
 will decline substantially, the former to 11.5% and the latter to 46.2%.
Conversely
,
people
 aged 60+ will double the number and peak at 42.3% in 2050.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure logical structure throughout the essay, with clear paragraphing and smooth transitions between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to include an introductory sentence that clearly states the topic of the essay, as well as a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific data from the charts, ensuring that the examples are relevant and clearly explained.
Task Achievement
To fully meet the task, ensure all parts of the question are answered comprehensively, and your response covers all requirements of the task.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are detailed and easily understood. Avoid generalizations and instead provide precise information.
Task Achievement
When using figures from charts or graphs, include specific percentages and data to strengthen your arguments and to clearly illustrate trends and comparisons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: