IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories

the bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories
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The bar chart depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumer spending on different sources in four different
countries
Use synonyms
. The data has been calibrated in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen the category of consumer categories that all
countries
Use synonyms
 spend most on was housing.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest expense was for healthcare which was five times lower. first and foremost, in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of housing, the United States spent
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 at 26%. The expenditure of the United Kingdom was
also
Linking Words
 high (24%) compared to Canada which spent the least (21%).
Japan
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 22% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest expenditure was on health care which accounted for under 8% in all
countries
Use synonyms
. The United States spent most on
this
Linking Words
 source at 8% of their expenditure which is around double that of Canada and
Japan
Use synonyms
 (4%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, food was the third category of consumer source and outlays for
this
Linking Words
 item
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 between 23% in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and 14% in the United States.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in transportation, the outlays for
this
Linking Words
 thing
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 between 20% in Canada and 10% in
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, clothing was the second of the lowest
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for under 6% in all
countries
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by syifensaft on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • categories
  • percentage
  • bar chart
  • allocation
  • distribution
  • consumer spending
  • economic indicator
  • fiscal priorities
  • trend analysis
  • budget allocation
  • disposable income
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