IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people enjoy change and look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to remain the same and do not like any changes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #change #experiences #lives #changes
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There is no doubt that these days some
people
Use synonyms
 like to try new something and explore unknown rode and
others
Use synonyms
 tend to be routine
lifestyle
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. The question is, why
some
Add a missing verb
do some
show examples
 groups of
people
Use synonyms
 dislike routine and
others
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 cannot live without a routine? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss the two views and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of the positive side, the
unroutine
Use synonyms
 group are better because they refuse to live
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same moment twice. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that they are talented
people
Use synonyms
 and they always think out of the box. To illustrate, the success
people
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 do not have the same
lifestyle
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 in different periods of their lives.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have
unroutine
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 lives they have more knowledge than
others
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they always search, travel and read new subjects,
conversely
Linking Words
, the routine group are just read the subjects they interested in,
in addition
Linking Words
, they uncare with travelling and know new cultures.
In other words
Linking Words
,
unroutine
Use synonyms
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 they
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
 because they own a stunning horizon.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some of the routine
people
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 are afraid to try new something or they are unable to afford the changes so they do have the same life. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 like their lives when It is
unroutine
Use synonyms
 to make new friends, travel try new kinds of food
also
Linking Words
 try the blue time they face their fears,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Use synonyms
 who cannot leave their
lifestyle
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have many reasons.
Therefore
Linking Words
. I believe that we should be as
we
Correct word choice
if we
show examples
 are two groups because we have different conditions.
However
Linking Words
, I like the
unroutine
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Yousef on

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structure
You need to significantly enhance the structure of your essay. An effective essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving a specific purpose. The introduction should set the tone, introduce the topic, and provide a clear thesis statement. The body paragraphs should each present a single main idea, supported by well-developed arguments and examples. The conclusion should tie the essay together and restate your position. Focus on creating distinct sections in your writing.
cohesion
Work on improving the coherence of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Utilize cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases ('firstly', 'moreover', 'in conclusion') to connect ideas and paragraphs. Ensure there is a logical flow of information and that all parts of the essay work together to support your thesis.
task response
To enhance task achievement, try to more fully address all parts of the task. Your response should clearly discuss both views and give your own opinion. Provide clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant, specific examples and ensure you address the prompt directly. Expand your explanation of why one group may prefer change while the other does not, and explore this contrast in more depth for a more compelling response

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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