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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #world #illiteracy #rates #region #gender #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart given illustrates the proportion of world
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 by
region
Use synonyms
 and by
gender
Use synonyms
 for
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
one-year
show examples
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest number of world
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 was dominated by
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
 all around the world,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
 where it was the lowest.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in several
Use synonyms
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
South
Asia
Use synonyms
 was the first ranked with 55
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
Arab
Correct article usage
the Arab
show examples
 States in
second ranked
Add a hyphen
second-ranked
show examples
 with approximately 52
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
. After that, Sub-Sahara Africa was
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
third ranked
Add a hyphen
third-ranked
show examples
 with about 48
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, several
Use synonyms
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 which are East
Asia
Use synonyms
,
Latin
Use synonyms
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
, and Develop
Countries
Use synonyms
 were followed for the
third
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 ranked where East Asian female
gender
Use synonyms
 was only about 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
Latin
Use synonyms
 American with 13
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and the
last
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Developed
Countries
Use synonyms
 with about less than 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
 in South
Asia
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the highest with a little bit 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
.
It followed
Correct pronoun usage
Followed
show examples
 by
Sub Saharan
Add a hyphen
Sub-Saharan
show examples
 Africa in the second with a little bit 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
while
Linking Words
Arab
Correct article usage
the Arab
show examples
 States
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the
third
Use synonyms
 with less than 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
third
Use synonyms
region
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 become the
third
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 ranked
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are East
Asia
Use synonyms
,
Latin
Use synonyms
 America, and Developed
Countries
Use synonyms
 where each got about 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Latin
Use synonyms
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
, 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
East
Asia
Use synonyms
, and the lowest was Developed
Countries
Use synonyms
 with 1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, region, gender, rates, asia, percent, third, latin, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
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