question about increase in fatality rate despite advanced in medicine
There has been a tremendous increase in the number of individuals questioning the high fatality
rate
despite the current developed healthcare system. One of the main reasons for this
worrying trend is due to
the fact that not enough funds are allocated to the research
to develope
better vaccines. Correct your spelling
develop
However
, there are solution
readily available to tackle Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
this
issue such
as the government planning educational workshops and supporting the
scientific Correct article usage
apply
research
.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that the death rate
of many preventable diseases
is still considerably high, despite the new innovations in medicine. For example
, in 2019, more than 6.5 million people
died globally because of a nanometer size
virus called Correct your spelling
nanometer-sized
COVID
. Correct your spelling
COVID-19
For
this
reason, it is evident that the lack of enough research
and the absence of necessary expertise to control COVID
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
,
impaired any possibility to manage the pandemic. What is more, herd immunity Remove the comma
apply
of
many countries is not well established, which refers to the protection of the entire community based on the number of vaccinated Change preposition
in
people
. This
being the case, it can be assumed that if serious actions were taken globally to support scientific research
, there would be no pandemic happening because of COVID
virus.
In order to resolve Correct your spelling
the COVID-19
this
troubling issue, one viable solution would be for the government to establish stable financial resources to support research
and help scientists advancing
in their field. Wrong verb form
advance
For instance
, in 1930, malaria was considered to be a fatal disease worldwide, conversely
, following the development of new
vaccine in 1980, a significant reduction Add an article
a new
the new
of
both the cases and death Change preposition
in
rate
were
reported. Change the verb form
was
Therefore
, it is evident that funding the research
sector is a pivotal cornerstone in achieving stable
healthcare system and Correct article usage
a stable
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
fatality
Correct article usage
the fatality
rate
of these diseases
. Furthermore
, the local aurthorities
should ensure the administration of the vaccines to all the Correct your spelling
authorities
people
, because as mentioned before, it will improve the public immunity against the diseases
. With this
in mind, there is no doubt that if scientists had enough funding to conduct further
researches
, Fix the agreement mistake
research
this
would reduce considerably the negative consequences of the big gap in the healthcare system.
To conclude
, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that people
are still suffering from common preventable diseases
because of inappropriate support for the research
. However
, it is still possible to turn the tide by the government intervention to set new plans and manage these diseases
.Submitted by ototonji.ot on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow and clear progression of ideas throughout the essay, avoiding abrupt transitions between sentences or paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the essay topic effectively and provide a conclusion that summarizes the main points and effectively answers the question posed.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more specific details and examples, and ensure that each point is fully elaborated and linked back to the question.
task achievement
Ensure your response covers all parts of the task, giving a balanced view where necessary, and fully answer the question without veering off-topic.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and easily understood, avoiding overly complex structures that might confuse the reader. Try to express your points more comprehensively.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Ensure the examples are directly linked to the main point and the overall topic being discussed.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.