Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experience.

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There is a view that

children

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's extracurricular

activities

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should be done for educational purposes,

while

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others

opinion's

Change the noun form

opinions

opinion

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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not. I totally disagree with the statement. In my opinion,

children

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have

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

to enjoy various

activities

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, not just educational events.

This

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essay will discuss why I oppose

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apply

show examples

the statement. On the one hand,

children

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can broaden their horizons by actively participating in various

activities

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such

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as sports, art, and

volunteer

Wrong verb form

volunteering

show examples

. By engaging in

such

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activities

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Children

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can learn cooperation and communication skills, which are essential abilities needed as a member of society.

Moreover

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, these soft skills

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are

show examples

sometimes much more important than one's academic ability.

Leisure

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activities

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which may not

helpful

Add a missing verb

be helpful

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to improve

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

intellectual foundation, can make

children

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grow in a balanced way.

On the other hand

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such

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leasiure

Correct your spelling

leisure

activities

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that are even irrelevant to academic

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can eventually help

children

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study better. A number of studies have shown that extracurricular

activities

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enhance

children

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's concentration,

therefore

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children

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who participate

various

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in various

show examples

activieis

Correct your spelling

activities

are more likely to outperform in tests than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

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don't.

That is

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one of the reasons why many universities take

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

into account students' extracurricular

activities

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when they proceed admission process.

Hence

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, technically speaking,

leisure

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activities

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that are

seemed

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deemed

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to be

uneducational

Correct your spelling

un educational

are actually link

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are actually linked

show examples

children

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's academic performance.

To sum up

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leisure

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activities

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whether related to educational or

uneducational

Correct your spelling

noneducational

, can improve

children

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's soft skills and actually

helpful

Replace the word

help

show examples

to achieve better academic results. For those reasons, I disagree with the statement that all

leisure

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activities

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should be educational. All

children

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deserve to enjoy

leisure

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activities

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if they have positive effects.

ywb516Tue Jan 02 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear logical flow. Each idea should be clearly introduced, explained and then summed up. The transitions between the points could be smoother for better readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to clearly reflect your position, making sure they encapsulate your argument and restate your opinion firmly.

Task Achievement

Supporting examples need to be more detailed and specific. Instead of general statements about what studies show, including specific findings from actual studies to substantiate your claims would be more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Address the prompt fully by making sure to discuss both sides of the argument when required. Expand on why some believe educational leisure activities are not a waste of time while also explaining your own stance.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Human activities have had a very negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about the problem, while others believe effective action can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?