More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, an overwhelming number of
people
have been choosing to
work
from
home
rather than
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
.
This
phenomenon regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals is beneficial because of the efficiency in time and they do not have to shift from
home
to office which can cause a
grid lock
Correct your spelling
gridlock
show examples
in a road. In my perspective, working from
home
is a better option to reduce the proportion of transport used by passengers when they come and go from
work
, provided that they should have a good proportion of physical exercise
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
. Many workforces choose to
work
from
home
because of the flexibility of working hours.
In other words
, employees do not have to
strict
Add a missing verb
be strict
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain hours to
work
on their
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
as long as they finish the task.
Furthermore
, the number of
people
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
by car
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rush hour would likely decrease, if many
people
were chosen to
work
from
home
. And
this
is just considered as give
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact on cities’ environment. Many cities will have a betterment in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of road accessibility and hinder air pollution from car utilisation. As regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the concerns of working from
home
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come from
health
Add an article
a health
show examples
perspective. Research
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
that many
people
who
work
from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
would
Verb problem
are
show examples
less likely
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
a physical activities
Correct the article-noun agreement
physical activities
a physical activity
show examples
, leading
in a harm
Replace the word
to harmful
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
both physically and mentally.
However
,
this
environment can be developed by the employees themselves by providing physical exercise
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
or buying a set of gym
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
. By
these enhancement
Change the determiner
this enhancement
these enhancements
show examples
, there cannot be
exist
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the detriment of
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
from
home
. In conclusion, becoming a mobile
employees
Fix the agreement mistake
employee
show examples
is only bad for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
as many
people
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surround
show examples
cities by vehicles to travel to
work
. In my opinion, I would argue that
people
should
work
from
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
because when it changes to
work
from
home
, they will give the same outputs. Many
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
can be acquired from
this
situation ranging from flexibility, accessibility and effort to gain
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the topic and your thesis statement, the body paragraphs should each contain a single, coherent idea with supporting examples, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate your position.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and cohesive devices adequately. Your essay shows some effort to link ideas but occasionally lacks clear connections between sentences and paragraphs, which may confuse the reader.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with relevant, specific examples and explanations. While your essay addresses the topic, the examples you provide are somewhat generic and do not fully demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. While you have given your opinion, certain aspects of the prompt, such as the discussion of positive or negative developments, are not adequately explored.
coherence cohesion
Correct grammatical errors and enhance lexical resource. Your essay contains several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, which hinder the clarity and sophistication of your response. Additionally, aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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