The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.  

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These pie charts illustrate the employment status of Australian
students
after graduating in/their graduation from (sai cấu trúc câu) an Australian school in 3 different periods of time over 20 years.
Overall
, there was an upward trend in the number of
students
who successfully held a job, the opposite could be seen in the rate of those who pursued higher education. Strikingly, unemployed graduates (n) were always the lowest. Accounting for 50%, learners engaged in advanced learning were the highest.
This
proportion decreased significantly and
then
continued to fall slightly to one-third of the total, at 37%.
In contrast
, people holding the job experienced a gradual increase of 15% over 20 years. Strikingly,
this
number made up half of
students
in 1990.
Students
who work full-time contributed the most
at the end
of the observed period,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
2000. In 1980, unemployed
students
took up the modest share, at 10%, which was one-fifth of the highest.
Although
this
rate rose moderately over 10 years, it decreased to 8%
at the end
of the observed period.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: