IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

The nuclear family is well adapted to moving due to its size. Do you think children benefit in any way from moving? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvanta

#size #children #benefit #disadvanta
In recent years, because of its
size
Add a comma
size,
show examples
 the immediate family should be moving around. As
such
, there are benefits and drawbacks to their children
to switch
Change the verb form
switching
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 often. I believe, there are numerous benefits to their children. They can learn to adapt quickly to
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 and build relations with numerous people from different
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will examine all the relevant reasons based on factual premises The first obstacle to children who always moving around is their education. They might feel burdened to change
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 frequently. They must adapt not just to the new society but
also
 to different
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
 at their new school.
In addition
, it can lead to depression and bullying especially if they were failure to adjust.
For example
, if
Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a logical structure. Your introduction should clearly present the topic and your main points, while the conclusion wraps up the argument. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and organize paragraphs in a logical manner.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, your essay should address all parts of the prompt. Provide a clear, complete response to the question, with well-developed ideas supported by relevant, specific examples. Ensure your essay includes a conclusion that summarizes your points and relates them back to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: