Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #amounts #money #world #events #olympic #games #football #cup #monies #children #sports #age

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In the present world,

number

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a number

the number

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of nations host different types of global

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sport

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sports

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which which cost a high amount of money.Some think that

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country

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the country

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has to support children first to be

attractive

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attracted

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sport

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.From my perspective,

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disagree with

this

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statment

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statement

and in

this

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essay

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essay,

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will clarify my opinion.

firstly

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,world

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sport

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sports

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events might have a

larg

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large

impact

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show examples

developing the

economy

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economic

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sector in the

country

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Furthermore

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its

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enhance

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enhances

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the

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apply

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tourism

turism

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tourism

when people from different places come to be a part

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that event as

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a result

aresult

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a result

that can show

denamic

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dynamic

increasing in different

sector

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sectors

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for example

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hotels ,

resturents

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restaurants

and market shopping all that will In conclusion,for the diverse reasons

mentiond

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mentioned

a bove

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above

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show examples

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apply

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gree to spend money on

sorpt

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sort

event which has a great impact

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developing the

country

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from all sides.

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Also

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Also,

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country

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country's

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government can

palance

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balance

between

eccouraging childern

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encouraging children

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sport

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the sport

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Submitted by nooraalmalki1993 on Tue Jan 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a disjointed manner. The introduction and conclusion are present but are not effectively stated. Additionally, main points need to be supported with more specific details and evidence to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

The essay partially addresses the prompt, but the response is incomplete and the ideas are not developed comprehensively. The writer does not clearly agree or disagree with the statement, as the conclusion seems to contradict the introduction. To improve, ensure that your position on the statement is consistent throughout the essay and that your ideas are fully developed and supported with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

144 words

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