IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

1.0 / 9
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Introduction
In the present world,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of nations host different types of global
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 which which cost a high amount of money.Some think that
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 has to support children first to be
attractive
Replace the word
attracted
show examples
 to
sport
Use synonyms
Body paragraph 1
.From my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will clarify my opinion.
Body paragraph 2
firstly
Linking Words
,world
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 events might have a
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developing the
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 sector in the
country
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
tourism
turism
Correct your spelling
tourism
 when people from different places come to be a part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that event as
Correct your spelling
a result
aresult
Correct your spelling
a result
 that can show
denamic
Correct your spelling
dynamic
 increasing in different
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 hotels ,
resturents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and market shopping all that will
Conclusion
In conclusion,for the diverse reasons
mentiond
Correct your spelling
mentioned
a bove
Correct your spelling
above
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gree to spend money on
sorpt
Correct your spelling
sort
 event which has a great impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developing the
country
Use synonyms
 from all sides.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 government can
palance
Correct your spelling
balance
 between
eccouraging childern
Correct your spelling
encouraging children
 to
Use synonyms
sport
Add an article
the sport
show examples
 .

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a disjointed manner. The introduction and conclusion are present but are not effectively stated. Additionally, main points need to be supported with more specific details and evidence to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but the response is incomplete and the ideas are not developed comprehensively. The writer does not clearly agree or disagree with the statement, as the conclusion seems to contradict the introduction. To improve, ensure that your position on the statement is consistent throughout the essay and that your ideas are fully developed and supported with relevant examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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