Some people think children should study at school and other think they should study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Society argues that their
children
should taught through formal education
, whereas
others believe that they can study from home. I agree with those who think that it is better for children
to learning
from Change the form of the verb
learn
school
and on
Change preposition
in
this
essay i
will explain with supporting opinions.
Change the capitalization
I
Education
can be learned from home, however
taking Add a comma
however,
children
to enroll
at Change the spelling
enrol
school
could give several benefits. In their growing age, children
are not only learn
about textbook knowledge but Change the verb form
are not only learning
also
social skills. Therefore
, study
at Wrong verb form
studying
school
could help them to develop their social skills such
as build
Replace the word
building
relationship
, communication and competition. To illustrate, by Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
study
at Wrong verb form
studying
school
, children
will encounter with
Change preposition
apply
another students
and make a circle to build relationships. Replace the adjective
another student
other students
Additionally
, school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
also
have several competitions that may drive competitiveness.
Formal education
also
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
about
discipline and time management, to be a good citizen in the future. At Change preposition
apply
school
, Add an article
the student
a student
student
should obey several rules and Fix the agreement mistake
students
coming
Wrong verb form
come
at
Change preposition
to
school
on time, a disobey
attitude will get Replace the word
disobedient
any
punishment from Correct determiner usage
a
teacher
. Add an article
the teacher
This
attitude could help them if they are graduated
from university and survive in Wrong verb form
graduate
working
environment. Add an article
the working
a working
For instance
, school
requires
pupils to Correct subject-verb agreement
require
use
different Verb problem
wear
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
everyday
and come Replace the word
every day
at
Change preposition
to
school
on time, this
rules Correct determiner usage
these
taught
them that we should obey Wrong verb form
teach
if
we want to survive in society.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
them if
education
is not only about thing
that we learn from Fix the agreement mistake
things
book
but Fix the agreement mistake
books
also
another softskill
about life. I, Correct your spelling
soft skill
soft-skill
therefore
, remain firmly convinced that enroll
in Wrong verb form
enrolling
school
could bring several advantages rather than home schooling
.Correct your spelling
homeschooling
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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Both should state the main argument and summarize the key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by using cohesive devices more effectively. This includes linking words, referencing, and paragraphing.
task achievement
Develop main points with more focused and relevant examples. Concrete examples will strengthen the argument and demonstrate a wider range of language.
task achievement
Aim for a more complete response to the question by addressing both views discussed in the essay prompt and providing a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Address grammatical accuracy and avoid repetitive sentence structures to improve overall coherence.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.