IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014
#visitor #visitors #zealand #countries #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 information about the
amount
Use synonyms
 of annual
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 for visitours to New Zealand from
fifth
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
various countries
over
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the world between 1996 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expenditure
Use synonyms
 for
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 countries was
constans
Correct your spelling
constant
 with Australia
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 leading from 1996 to 2014
while
Linking Words
 China
became
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 of annual
visitor
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 for
visitors
Use synonyms
 to
Newzealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
show examples
 from 1996 to 2014.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of the annual
visitors
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Australian
visitors
Use synonyms
 was the highest
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with others, in 1996 the
expenditure
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Austraian
Correct your spelling
Australian
visitors
Use synonyms
 was 1000 NZS and
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by USA
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the second
large
Replace the word
largest
show examples
. In
contras
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
, China
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
expenditure
Use synonyms
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 in 2002 the UK
is
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
expenditure
Use synonyms
 since
reduction
Add an article
the reduction
a reduction
show examples
 of the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 for UK
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the UK
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 and the
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 started
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the same
amount
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expenditure
Use synonyms
 which is 500 NSZ.
Submitted by Qia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, visitor, expenditure, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditure
  • tourism revenue
  • spending trends
  • economic impact
  • visitor spend
  • tourism sector
  • peak spending
  • fluctuations
  • incline/decline in spending
  • monetary contribution
  • tourist demographics
  • economic conditions
  • tourism campaigns
  • statistical analysis
  • data interpretation
  • fiscal year
  • extrapolate data
  • spending patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: