IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Study needs time, peace and comfort, whereas employment needs the same thing. Someone says it is impossible to combine those two because one distracts one another. Do you think this is realistic in our life today?

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The
people
Use synonyms
 are talking about the way to result on money and get knowledge at the same moment. It is hard to achieve because three aspects must be present. Namely, moment,
tranquility
Change the spelling
tranquillity
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, and relaxation. But, in my opinion, learning and working will do it together if you have good managerial. I start with the great managerial and its impact on the result. Someone with a managerial in their life has more discipline to control their space to study in completing their self with the new skill.
While
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, in their working hours, a worker pushes themselves to do the job as much as they can
posible
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possible
possibly
.
Nevertheless
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, They do not want the privacy and enjoyment of working and learning to be lost.
For example
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, the person works in a company from 8 am until 4 pm and learns new skills after that. The activity you did learn and work on should not other
people
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 know because of your privacy, and you will enjoy doing that. On the other side,
people
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 with pure managerial have a problem conducting the occupation together. They choose one of them and do that until they finish and move to other work after that.
This
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 is not a comprehensive manner.
For instance
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, a worker will resign from their job only to learn a new skill.
Then
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, they do not have the ability to consider their life priority. In conclusion. learning something and doing a job will get space, privacy, and enjoyment professionally.
In addition
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. Good managerial are skills that
people
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 have to get both learning and working
togetherlly
Correct your spelling
together
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear and logical structure, with a coherent flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Ideas should be presented in an organized manner, with each paragraph focusing on a single main point. Improve the relationship between ideas by better use of cohesive devices and transitions.
task achievement
The response should fully address all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Expand upon key points with detailed explanations and relevant, specific examples. Maintain a consistent and clear argument throughout, ensuring relevance to the original question.
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