Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them.Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
In
this
living period,friends
play a
important role in an individual's Change the article
an
life
.While
few people recommend that it is better to have friends
who alwaysagree
with them.Others believe that they do not compromise for Correct your spelling
always agree
few
Correct article usage
a few
decisions
.This
essay explains about
two concerns including my opinion.
To notice the former view, Change preposition
apply
the
people Correct article usage
apply
thinks
that having Change the verb form
think
friends
with the same suggestions is superior/higher because it is easy to chase dreams when there are no oblections
.Correct your spelling
objections
For
example
,the number one business man elon musk
never took Capitalize word
Musk
decisions
with his friends
for important things.Example
: His goal is Change preposition
For example
sending
Change the verb form
to send
peopole
to Correct your spelling
people
mars
Capitalize word
Mars
also
and research it.In this
concern,he did not take
Correct your spelling
make
decisions
with his friends
.Because different opinions lead to failure for his goals and relations.Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
example
is while
choosing the college leader's
, the uncommon thoughts of voters may affect the mental health of the person.
On the Change noun form
leaders
otherhand
,some citizens believe that opinions are very critical because they can help a person to choose Correct your spelling
other hand
a
right decision Correct article usage
the
to
his Change preposition
for
life
.For
example
,who and all
addicted to drugs and alcohol are leads to danger of their Correct determiner usage
those
life
because of attraction towards the western
culture or addiction may help to save their health and Capitalize word
Western
also
their money.It is not always possible to take
Correct your spelling
make
right
Correct article usage
the right
decisions
of
their own.In Change preposition
on
this
criteria,people should have friends
to take
Correct your spelling
make
decision
or guide Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
Correct pronoun usage
them to
to
their Change preposition
in
life
events.
To conclude
this
, it is always easy to live a life
by taking
Correct your spelling
making
decisions
on our own.However
who give correct views at any point of
time are more beneficial Change preposition
in
in
our Change preposition
to
overall
progress.Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure, which is key to guiding the reader through your argument effectively. Consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and aim to develop each point fully before moving on to the next one. Transition words and phrases can also help to create a smoother flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be clearer and more directly address the essay topic. In the introduction, clearly state the purpose of the essay and your thesis statement. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your own opinion in a clear and concise manner.
coherence cohesion
While you have presented main points, they need to be better supported with detailed explanations and more relevant examples. Develop each point with specific details that illustrate the arguments being made or contrast different viewpoints effectively.
task achievement
Your response to the task seems incomplete; the essay does not fully address all parts of the task, and your own opinion is not clearly stated. You should spend more time analyzing both views presented in the prompt before expressing your viewpoint in a structured manner.
task achievement
Though you strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas, the clarity is often lost due to grammatical inaccuracies and poor sentence structure. Focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and utilizing a range of sentence structures to articulate your thoughts more effectively.
task achievement
Your examples need to be more closely aligned with the topic and more effectively used to support your arguments. Make sure that each example you give clearly demonstrates the point you're trying to make and enhances your overall argument. Avoid vague references and strive for specific, detailed, and relevant examples.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.