Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them.Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In
this
living period,
friends
play
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important role in an individual's
life
.
While
few people recommend that it is better to have
friends
who
alwaysagree
Correct your spelling
always agree
with them.Others believe that they do not compromise for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
decisions
.
This
essay explains
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two concerns including my opinion. To notice the former view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that having
friends
with the same suggestions is superior/higher because it is easy to chase dreams when there are no
oblections
Correct your spelling
objections
.
For
example
,the number one business man elon
musk
Capitalize word
Musk
show examples
never took
decisions
with his
friends
for important things.
Example
Change preposition
For example
show examples
: His goal is
sending
Change the verb form
to send
show examples
peopole
Correct your spelling
people
to
mars
Capitalize word
Mars
show examples
also
and research it.In
this
concern,he did not
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
decisions
with his
friends
.Because different opinions lead to failure for his goals and relations.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
example
is
while
choosing the college
leader's
Change noun form
leaders
show examples
, the uncommon thoughts of voters may affect the mental health of the person. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
,some citizens believe that opinions are very critical because they can help a person to choose
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right decision
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
his
life
.
For
example
,who and
all
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
addicted to drugs and alcohol are leads to danger of their
life
because of attraction towards the
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
culture or addiction may help to save their health and
also
their money.It is not always possible to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
decisions
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own.In
this
criteria,people should have
friends
to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
or guide
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
life
events.
To conclude
this
, it is always easy to live a
life
by
taking
Correct your spelling
making
show examples
decisions
on our own.
However
who give correct views at any point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
time are more beneficial
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
our
overall
progress.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure, which is key to guiding the reader through your argument effectively. Consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and aim to develop each point fully before moving on to the next one. Transition words and phrases can also help to create a smoother flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be clearer and more directly address the essay topic. In the introduction, clearly state the purpose of the essay and your thesis statement. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your own opinion in a clear and concise manner.
coherence cohesion
While you have presented main points, they need to be better supported with detailed explanations and more relevant examples. Develop each point with specific details that illustrate the arguments being made or contrast different viewpoints effectively.
task achievement
Your response to the task seems incomplete; the essay does not fully address all parts of the task, and your own opinion is not clearly stated. You should spend more time analyzing both views presented in the prompt before expressing your viewpoint in a structured manner.
task achievement
Though you strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas, the clarity is often lost due to grammatical inaccuracies and poor sentence structure. Focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and utilizing a range of sentence structures to articulate your thoughts more effectively.
task achievement
Your examples need to be more closely aligned with the topic and more effectively used to support your arguments. Make sure that each example you give clearly demonstrates the point you're trying to make and enhances your overall argument. Avoid vague references and strive for specific, detailed, and relevant examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • support
  • unconditional love
  • shared values
  • mutual understanding
  • trust
  • emotional well-being
  • interdependence
  • societal norms
  • companionship
  • loyalty
  • advice
  • experiences
  • mentorship
  • trustworthy
  • reliable
  • reliable
  • cherish
  • strengthen
  • deepen
  • attach importance to
  • prioritize
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!