In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Shopping
preferences of Correct article usage
The shopping
people
have changed considerably over the years. Large shopping malls
have made their way into modern society thus
eliminating local shops from the market. I believe the impact of this
establishment is positive because of the numerous advantages Correct pronoun usage
that accompanied
accompanied
Wrong verb form
accompany
by
it.
In recent times, shopping complexes have attracted a large number of Change preposition
apply
people
especially
in the cities. They have become a Add the comma(s)
, especially
one stop
shop to purchase various regular and luxurious items. They offer clothing, electronic appliances, personal care items and many more. Add a hyphen
one-stop
Besides
, they also
house food courts which offer a variety of food options. Some malls
also
have gaming zones where kids and adults could
spend time together playing interesting games. Wrong verb form
can
Furthermore
, there is parking
facility in Add an article
a parking
malls
which ensures security
of the vehicles of visitors.
Ezoic
Add an article
the security
However
, shopping malls
have been the reason behind shutting
down of many local shops. Correct article usage
the shutting
Although
, we can still see some stores selling their own products, most of them have moved on. Many of these local store owners have taken over the space available in malls
to market their products where sales are relatively high due to
the presence of high
proportion of consumers. Correct article usage
a high
This
in turn created employment opportunities for many people
who wish to work in sales and managing stores. Housing local and branded products at
one place allows Change preposition
in
people
to explore both kinds without having to move from one place to another.
To sum up
, the shopping tendencies of people
lead to a
sustainable development by influencing the movement of local stores to Remove the article
apply
malls
. This
has made shopping convenient for an average citizen and I believe this
to be a positive establishment.Submitted by shevonsavidhu14 on
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Task Response
Ensure that your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. There's a sense of an opinion, but it needs to be more explicitly stated with a direct thesis statement.
Task Response
Develop your main ideas with a deeper analysis and more detailed examples. The response contains general statements, but to achieve a higher score, each point could be further elaborated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, using a range of cohesive devices effectively. While the essay has some structural elements in place, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the overall logical flow could be improved for better understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat effective, but they could be more impactful with a stronger paraphrase of the question and a definitive summarizing statement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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