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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
The given bar chart depicts information about how some households spent their income per week in one particular nation in 1968 and 2018. All in all, most
of
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apply
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families
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 their budget on food, leisure and housing rather than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 goods. Getting back to the details,
while
 in 1968 the vast majority of households spent their budget on food
for
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apply
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almost 40
percent
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per cent
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, they
have
Wrong verb form
had
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 interest
spending
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in spending
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 on housing and clothing
for
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apply
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about 10
percent
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per cent
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.
However
,
while
 spending on fuel and power have least spent merely 7
percent
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per cent
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, others have the same percentage for around less than 10
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
, in 2018 most
of
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apply
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families outlayed money on leisure rather than on housing by 3
percent
. Meanwhile, expenditure on food and transport accounted for more and less than 15
percent
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per cent
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 respectively as
oppossed
Correct your spelling
opposed
 to
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, fuel, and personal goods which were merely 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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