Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion
With growing consideration
on
Change preposition
of
children
's Use synonyms
health
from both Use synonyms
parents
and Use synonyms
government
, the discussion that who has Correct article usage
the government
Use synonyms
right
to decide Correct article usage
the right
children
's medical Use synonyms
care
has been aroused. Some Use synonyms
argues
that it is Change the verb form
argue
parents
' Use synonyms
responsibility
to make decisions on what medical Use synonyms
care
their Use synonyms
children
receive. In Use synonyms
constrast
, others say that it is Correct your spelling
contrast
Use synonyms
state's
duty. Correct article usage
the state's
This
essay will address both views and present my opinion on the issue.
On the one hand, some people believe that deciding on what medical treatment Linking Words
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children
will receive is Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents'
Correct article usage
the parents'
responsibility
as the first duty of Use synonyms
parents
is caring Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
for their
children
, Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
parents
know better about their Use synonyms
health
condition than the Use synonyms
state
does. The Use synonyms
State
cannot know all the Use synonyms
children
's Use synonyms
health
status, nor cover all the Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
treatment
. Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
Parents
can recognize their Use synonyms
children
's Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
problem
quicklyFix the agreement mistake
problems
,
so Remove the comma
apply
that
they have Correct word choice
apply
Use synonyms
right
and Correct article usage
the right
responsibility
to choose what medical treatment their Use synonyms
children
will take.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, others argue that Linking Words
parents
may make wrong Use synonyms
decision
about their Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
children
's medical issues since they are not Use synonyms
an
Correct article usage
apply
expert
. Fix the agreement mistake
experts
Moreover
, Linking Words
finance
status of each household varies, so Replace the word
the financial
that
some Correct word choice
apply
parents
cannot afford Use synonyms
to
their Change preposition
apply
children
's medical expenses. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the Linking Words
state
has Use synonyms
Use synonyms
responsibility
to operate medical Add an article
the responsibility
a responsibility
care
schemes for Use synonyms
children
with an expert's view, Use synonyms
as well as
to secure the same level of medical services to all Linking Words
children
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, there is one view that Linking Words
parents
should determine their Use synonyms
children
's medical Use synonyms
care
plans because they can Use synonyms
care
best Use synonyms
to
their Change preposition
for
children
, and the Use synonyms
other's
that it is the Correct your spelling
other is
state
's Use synonyms
responsibility
since the Use synonyms
state
can provide an expert's view and equity to all Use synonyms
children
. I agree with the latter statement that the Use synonyms
state
should have Use synonyms
Use synonyms
right
to decide Correct article usage
the right
Use synonyms
children's
medical Change preposition
on children's
care
. With Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the goverment's
goverment's
appropriate interventions, I believe more Correct your spelling
government's
children
have Use synonyms
Use synonyms
right
medical time at Correct article usage
the right
Use synonyms
right
time.Correct article usage
the right
Submitted by ywb516 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure. Your essay should flow in a logical manner from one idea to the next, with clear connections between your points.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state the essay's main points and opinion. Your introduction and conclusion were present but could be refined to more effectively outline your arguments and your stance.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, specific examples. While you presented arguments for both viewpoints, the use of specific examples to support these points was limited and could be enhanced to strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Your response should answer all aspects of the prompt in a balanced way, including a clear opinion.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas comprehensively. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with thorough explanation. Some ideas were reported but not sufficiently developed or explained.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your points. Your essay would benefit from the inclusion of more concrete examples or data to back up your assertions and to convincingly illustrate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.