Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Information and communication technology has changed rapidly over the past 20 years, with a key development being the emergence of social
media
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. It plays a role
enhancing
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in enhancing
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and improving people's social lives.
however
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, social
media
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overuse
also
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hidden
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hides
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various risks to their mental health and communication. I will analyze
this
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issue from my personal perspective. It is true that social
media
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allow users to
accesss
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access
rapid information retrieval, enabling them to easily grasp the fastest
fluctuate
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in the world.
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, for
introvert
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introverted
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individuals
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or those with social anxiety,
this
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is indeed a wonderful opportunity to share their stories without the need
to
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for
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face-to-face interactions dramatically.
In addition
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, Online Business Models in platforms
such
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as TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram
has
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have
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become a fantastic opportunity to earn additional income,
enhance
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and enhance
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and improve people's social lives.
For example
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, as of 2023, Facebook is the largest social
media
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platform globally with 3.03 billion monthly active users worldwide and more than 200 million small businesses around the world using Facebook’s tools.
Consequently
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, it's a potential market where
individuals
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who leverage and innovate can seize opportunities for themselves. Certainly, it's important not to overlook the dark side of using social
media
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. Platforms incessantly refresh their content,
coupled with
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highly attractive trends, leads the younger generation to be glued to social
media
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.
Furthermore
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, the AI technologies
continuous
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continuously
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that
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apply
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recognize topics users find interesting, providing tailored suggestions based on their preferences. The outcome is the phenomenon of social
media
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addiction, a damaging effect on mental health. Gradually, these
individuals
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may experience a gradual erosion of personal relationships and an increased propensity to live in a digital bubble. Relationships are no longer proximity and closeness like physical interaction. In conclusion, social
media
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provides us with numerous opportunities to expand
knowledge
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our knowledge
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, enhance
thinking
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our thinking
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, and interact with people from different countries regardless of physical proximity. It offers the chance to create new income sources for
individuals
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.
However
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, it
also
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distances human relationships, isolated from society, and lacks profound interaction.
Therefore
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,
while
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social
media
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can make
individuals
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more sociable, it
also
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lead
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leads
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to
loss
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the loss
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of important values in life.
Hence
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, it is essential to be a discernment and purpose social
media
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user,
cultivate
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and cultivate
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a society that not only connects
individuals
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but
also
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upholds the value of meaningful, real-world interactions.
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Coherence and Cohesion
There is an apparent effort to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother, with better signposting to guide the reader through the argument.
Task Achievement
The response to the task given shows an understanding of the main points, though the depth of ideas could be improved. Ensure that the arguments presented directly address the question at hand, with more specific examples provided to support claims.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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