Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. Hor far do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by many people that
computer
skills
need to be added to primary lessons in elementary school, starts
Wrong verb form
starting
from
reading, writing and math. I highly disagree with Change preposition
with
this
statement since it leads to a disadvantage for students
.
Nowadays, major in college mainly dominate
by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and Change the form of the verb
dominated
computer
science because computer
skills
are needed since the development of technology begins to grow faster. As a result
, students
need to adapt to this
situation where computer
skills
should be added to the main subjects. Furthermore
, this
could be an excellent opportunity for them in the future to get better careers. For instance
, in America, the majority of companies prefer to find fresh graduates that
graduate from Correct pronoun usage
who
Correct article usage
the computers
computers
department.
Change the noun form
computer
On the other hand
, it is known that computer
skills
are challenging subjects because it contains a lot of data and calculation
Fix the agreement mistake
calculations
such
as mathematics. Their main activities in
Change preposition
at
young
age are playing and relaxing, if it Correct article usage
a young
taken
by them, they might get very Add a missing verb
is taken
stressful
about it. To illustrate, research shows that parents tend to ask their teenagers to open their books and take notes rather than Replace the word
stressed
going
out. Wrong verb form
go
As a consequence
, many of the students
starts
to feel stress Change the verb form
start
that
leads to a feeling of disliking their schools.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
which
although
computer
subjects might help students
to
enhance their abilities, Verb problem
apply
the
conditions Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
need to be Correct pronoun usage
apply
thought
carefully. It could lead to Verb problem
taught
the
drawbacks for Correct article usage
apply
students
.Submitted by ieltswriting91 on
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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Both your opening and closing paragraphs should clearly state your opinion on the topic and summarize the main points of the essay.
Coherence/Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This can include sequence words (firstly, secondly, etc.), contrast words (however, on the other hand, etc.), and result words (therefore, as a result, etc.).
Supporting Main Points
Develop your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. Each paragraph should center on a single idea, and this idea should be supported by concrete evidence or illustrative examples.
Task Response
Ensure that you fully address the task prompt. This means providing a complete answer to the question asked, expressing your viewpoint, and discussing the topic adequately within the word count.
Task Achievement
Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Aim for precision in language and avoid ambiguity or overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.