Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. Hor far do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought by many people that
computer
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skills
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need to be added to primary lessons in elementary school,
starts
Wrong verb form
starting
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from
Change preposition
with
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reading, writing and math. I highly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement since it leads to a disadvantage for
students
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. Nowadays, major in college mainly
dominate
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dominated
show examples
by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and
computer
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science because
computer
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skills
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are needed since the development of technology begins to grow faster.
As a result
Linking Words
,
students
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need to adapt to
this
Linking Words
situation where
computer
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skills
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should be added to the main subjects.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
could be an excellent opportunity for them in the future to get better careers.
For instance
Linking Words
, in America, the majority of companies prefer to find fresh graduates
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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graduate from
Correct article usage
the computers
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computers
Change the noun form
computer
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department.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is known that
computer
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skills
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are challenging subjects because it contains a lot of data and
calculation
Fix the agreement mistake
calculations
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such
Linking Words
as mathematics. Their main activities
in
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at
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young
Correct article usage
a young
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age are playing and relaxing, if it
taken
Add a missing verb
is taken
show examples
by them, they might get very
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
about it. To illustrate, research shows that parents tend to ask their teenagers to open their books and take notes rather than
going
Wrong verb form
go
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out.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, many of the
students
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starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
to feel stress
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads to a feeling of disliking their schools. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
computer
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subjects might help
students
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to
Verb problem
apply
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enhance their abilities,
the
Change the word
their
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conditions
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to be
thought
Verb problem
taught
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carefully. It could lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks for
students
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.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Both your opening and closing paragraphs should clearly state your opinion on the topic and summarize the main points of the essay.
Coherence/Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This can include sequence words (firstly, secondly, etc.), contrast words (however, on the other hand, etc.), and result words (therefore, as a result, etc.).
Supporting Main Points
Develop your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. Each paragraph should center on a single idea, and this idea should be supported by concrete evidence or illustrative examples.
Task Response
Ensure that you fully address the task prompt. This means providing a complete answer to the question asked, expressing your viewpoint, and discussing the topic adequately within the word count.
Task Achievement
Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Aim for precision in language and avoid ambiguity or overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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