Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In recent years, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
numerous people who support teenagers to focus on the
subject
that they find
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
rather than concentrate on all
subjects
.
On the other hand
, some people believe learning all
subject
can
broader
Replace the word
broaden
show examples
their knowledge and assist their
career
in the future. I believe that
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
various
subjects
can contribute to a wider understanding of the world and enrich their
career
choices. In
this
essay, I will examine all the relevant opinions based on factual premises. Focusing on a specific
subject
,
allowing
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
them to depth
knowledge
Change preposition
of knowledge
show examples
and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
understanding
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the particular
field
.
Moreover
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mastering a specific skill
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can lead to
became
Verb problem
apply
show examples
expertise and
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
numerous opportunities.
Moreover
, they can save a lot of time and energy by
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
a
cetain
Correct your spelling
certain
subject
.
For example
, teenagers who want to become engineers,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
focus on
to build
Change the verb form
building
show examples
its skill
Fix the agreement mistake
their skills
show examples
,
therefore
it can assist them to become masters in
this
field
and get numerous chances in future in a short time.
Conversely
, being
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
well-rounded in education allows teenagers to explore various
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
, which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to
broader
Replace the word
broaden
show examples
their knowledge about the world.
Furthermore
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowing
multi
Correct word choice
multiple
show examples
subjects
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
in developing transferable
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
that might be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
in
the
Change the word
my
show examples
future
career
.
In addition
, it is of paramount importance for cognitive development by challenging the brain to work in different ways.
Besides
, it can accommodate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescent who still
tries finding
Wrong verb form
trying to find
show examples
their passion or talent. In conclusion, mastering
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a specific
field
it is beneficial because it can help them align with
theoir
Correct your spelling
their
passion and
career
.
However
, In my opinion,
conscious
Add a missing verb
being conscious
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
numerous
subjects
can broaden their understanding significantly.
Therefore
, it can bring much more benefits rather than becoming
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
in a specific
field
.
Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and your thesis statement. Avoid lengthy sentences and aim for clarity and conciseness.
Paragraph Development
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences that align with the central argument. Support each main point with specific examples and explanations.
Cohesion
Improve cohesion by better organizing ideas and using a range of cohesive devices that clearly signal relationships between ideas.
Task Response
For a higher score, provide a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. Include clear, relevant examples to support each view.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, succinctly summarize the main points of discussion and reiterate your stance, ensuring it aligns with the arguments presented throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • cognitive development
  • transferable skills
  • specialization
  • in-depth knowledge
  • expertise
  • motivation
  • learning outcomes
  • achieving excellence
  • reduce stress
  • career aspirations
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