some people beleive that nowdays we have too many choices

#people #beleive #nowdays #choices

According

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human rights, everyone is free to

take

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make

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thier

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their

choices

.In today's

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generation

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generations

Add a comma

generations,

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people have lots of

choices

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show examples

thier

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their

daily basis

such

as food,

clothings

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clothing

items of clothing

articles of clothing

show examples

etc.I strongly agree with

this

statement and

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show examples

will justify

with

Correct pronoun usage

it with

show examples

accurate examples.

To begin

with food,we have plenty of

choices

to choose

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from.

show examples

Moveover

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Moreover

online platform plays a vital role.They have more

option

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options

show examples

to choose to eat with different cuisines like Japanese,

chinese

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Chinese

show examples

etc.In

restuarants

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restaurants

,we have menu

card

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cards

show examples

ranges

Wrong verb form

ranging

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from high to

lowwith

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low with

different options to eat.

secondly

,The clothing

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

we are

wearingin

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wearing

wearing in

day

today

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today's

show examples

life.In the

market

Add a comma

market,

show examples

there

are

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show examples

great

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a great

show examples

deal for festivals.the clothing

is depend

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depends

show examples

upon the

peoples

Change to a genitive case

people's

peoples'

show examples

demand towards the dress.If demand increases price

also

increases,if demand

decrease

Correct subject-verb agreement

decreases

show examples

price will

decreases

Change the verb form

decrease

show examples

Correct word choice

and vise

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vise

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vice

show examples

versa. in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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conclusion,having many

choices

depends on people's needs and wants.Let people make lots of

choices

based on

thier

Correct your spelling

their

taste and preferences.Having

choices

can decide easily

wheather

Correct your spelling

whether

to choose what.

Submitted by insighttribez on Wed Jan 03 2024

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task achievement

As an IELTS examiner, it is important for you to fully address the prompt. Make sure you develop your main points with a clear logical structure. Offer complete responses by expanding your ideas and examples to support your argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows an attempt at providing cohesion, but the logical sequencing of information needs improvement. Paragraphing could be used more effectively to separate ideas clearly. Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly and use a wider range of cohesive devices to score higher in coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

150 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people beleive that nowdays we have too many choices

Fully explain your ideas

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All level of education, from primary to tertiary school should be free. To what extent do you agree or disagree?