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Band 2.5

some people beleive that nowdays we have too many choices

#people #beleive #nowdays #choices
According
t
Correct your spelling
to
 human rights, everyone is free to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
choices
.In today's
Fix the agreement mistake
generation
show examples
generations
Add a comma
generations,
show examples
 people have lots of
choices
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 daily basis
such
 as food,
clothings
Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
show examples
 etc.I strongly agree with
this
 statement and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will justify
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
 accurate examples.
To begin
 with food,we have plenty of
choices
 to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Moveover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
 online platform plays a vital role.They have more
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 to choose to eat with different cuisines like Japanese,
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 etc.In
restuarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
,we have menu
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
ranges
Wrong verb form
ranging
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 from high to
lowwith
Correct your spelling
low with
 different options to eat.
secondly
,The clothing
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we are
wearingin
Correct your spelling
wearing
wearing in
 day
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 life.In the
market
Add a comma
market,
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
 deal for festivals.the clothing
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 upon the
peoples
Change to a genitive case
people's
peoples'
show examples
 demand towards the dress.If demand increases price
also
 increases,if demand
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
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 price will
decreases
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
Correct word choice
and vise
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vise
Change the spelling
vice
show examples
 versa. in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,having many
choices
 depends on people's needs and wants.Let people make lots of
choices
 based on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 taste and preferences.Having
choices
 can decide easily
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 to choose what.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
As an IELTS examiner, it is important for you to fully address the prompt. Make sure you develop your main points with a clear logical structure. Offer complete responses by expanding your ideas and examples to support your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt at providing cohesion, but the logical sequencing of information needs improvement. Paragraphing could be used more effectively to separate ideas clearly. Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly and use a wider range of cohesive devices to score higher in coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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