IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many educators believe that international exchange trips are beneficial for students. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give you opinion and include any relevent example

#educators #exchange #trips #students #relevent
Educational materials play an important role in the progress of a country. In
this
 regard, the usefulness of international exchange trips
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been a matter of debate. I reckon they are beneficial for
students
 and improving
students
' creativity
as well as
 their responsibility regarding their society are some of their advantages for the
students
.
Firstly
, they level up
students
' innovations. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
 are highly likely to
be grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
in
Change preposition
up in
show examples
 a classic family
followed
Replace the word
following
show examples
 local beliefs.
For example
, in many religious cities, teenagers are trained with the church's materials so they may stay away from wine. Traveling to other countries makes them think out of
box
Add an article
the box
show examples
 and gain new experiences.
As a result
, they will become more creative in the future.
Secondly
, living abroad helps
students
 to become more responsible. A student living in a developed country has no idea about
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life in developing countries or countries with low
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of liberty.
For instance
, if a student from
Sweeden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
show examples
 travels to Iraq, he would know how
fortune
Replace the word
fortunate
show examples
 he is.
As a consequence
, he is willing to protect his community against any
extrem
Correct your spelling
extreme
 belief.
Therefore
, he will contribute to the freedom
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 his country in the future. In conclusion, I believe
internaitonal
Correct your spelling
international
 trips can lead to many effective results. Not only do they help
students
 to become more innovative, but
also
students
 will become responsible
to fight
Change preposition
for fighting
show examples
 for their social values
such
 as liberty.
Submitted by AUser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have addressed the question and presented a clear opinion which is good, but the essay would benefit from a more developed introduction and conclusion to better frame your arguments.
task achievement
The main ideas are relevant, but some are not fully developed or explored in depth. Aim to fully elaborate on your ideas and provide more detailed examples to support your points for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is adequate, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Specific examples are good, but they can be more effectively tied to the main argument by explaining how they directly support your point. Provide a deeper analysis of the examples to enhance the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: