Some people think that children should follow their parents’ advice, however, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
some people believe that offspring should follow their parent
's advice
, others argue that they have to be independent. I support the former view which I will explain in this
essay.
To begin
with, the people who advocate for children
Change noun form
children's
indpendency
argue that it would help them to Correct your spelling
independence
independency
develope decion making
Correct your spelling
develop decision-making
skill
. By allowing them to Fix the agreement mistake
skills
take
independent Correct your spelling
make
decisons
, they will become successful in their future life. Correct your spelling
decisions
In other words
, the indipendent
Correct your spelling
independent
children
are more efficient than the offsprings
who have Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
following
Wrong verb form
followed their
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
advice
. For exmaple
, a recent study in Germany indicated that Correct your spelling
example
the
students without Correct article usage
apply
guidence
from Correct your spelling
guidance
adult
have developed more skills Fix the agreement mistake
adults
comparing
to Wrong verb form
compared
the
Correct article usage
apply
juvenile
with Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
guidence
from Correct your spelling
guidance
adult
.Fix the agreement mistake
adults
However
the Add a comma
However,
kids
will not have life
experience to Add an article
the life
take
complex Correct your spelling
make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
in
Change preposition
at
the
crucial Correct article usage
apply
time
.
Fix the agreement mistake
times
On the other hand
, juvenile
would not be mature Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
to
Rephrase
enough to
take
complex Correct your spelling
make
decision
in their life Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
with
out Change preposition
without
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
advice
. Parents
are accessible for their kids
to guide and provide advice
from their broder
Correct your spelling
broader
prospective
and experience. In short, Correct your spelling
perspective
parents
are responsible to guide
their Change preposition
for guiding
offsprings
will be beneficial for them. For Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
exmple
, It is Correct your spelling
example
belived
that Correct your spelling
believed
Correct article usage
the offsprings
offsprings
of single Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
parents
are suffering
depression and Wrong verb form
suffer
psycological
issues Correct your spelling
psychological
comparing
to Wrong verb form
compared
the
Correct article usage
apply
juvenile
living with both Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
parents
. Furthermore
, kids
Verb problem
apply
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct your spelling
rely
relay
on Correct your spelling
rely
parents
for their finanicial
Correct your spelling
financial
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
need
including school expenses and buying personal things, Fix the agreement mistake
needs
therefore
, parents
have the right to Replace the word
advise
advice
their Replace the word
advise
kids
.
In conclusion, I believe that parent
's advice
will be helpful for children
for personality developement
. Correct your spelling
development
Although
decision making
skill is an advantage of independent Add a hyphen
decision-making
childrens
, Correct your spelling
children
children's
parents
experience and guidance will be vital for Change noun form
parents'
parent's
children
's development.Submitted by ck.manshad on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Make each paragraph distinct, with a clear main idea and cohesive devices that help with the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be clear and directly address the question. It is crucial that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made within the body of the essay without introducing entirely new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant and convincing examples and explanations. Each idea should be fully developed within the paragraph with evidence or a detailed explanation.
task achievement
When responding to the task, it is important to completely address all parts of the prompt. Develop your response to cover all aspects of the essay question, and make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, especially in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and easily understood. Work on articulating your points more comprehensively and avoid repetition. Ensure that your argument is not just stated but also fully explained and supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. While hypotheticals are acceptable, real-world examples or statistics are more convincing and relevant in strengthening your arguments.
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