IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

the responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnationa organiztaion or every country.

#responsibility #protection #environment #transnationa #organiztaion #country
The responsibility for the protection of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mother nature is by
privte
Correct your spelling
private
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 or every nation.
Overall
,
this
 essay will display
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the explanations of the capability
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the protection
ecosystem
should be
Verb problem
of
show examples
 every nation
such
 as doing
collaborate
Replace the word
collaborative
show examples
activities
 and making
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
. Looking for more details, there are several
activities
 for states collaborating
ecosystem
Change preposition
on ecosystem
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
.
Firstly
, the
government
 and local
NGO
Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
show examples
 encourage society to follow
volluntering
Correct your spelling
volunteering
activities
.
Moreover
, the target of
partiticipans
Correct your spelling
participants
participant
 comes from
people
 who care
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 or
people
 who doing
envoironmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Secondly
, make yearly
activities
 for
people
 who
caring
Wrong verb form
care about
show examples
mother nature
Correct your spelling
Mother Nature
show examples
.
Likewise
,
activities
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
one
Change preposition
for one
show examples
 week in the biggest cities,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 who have private transportation
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 public
transfortation
Correct your spelling
transportation
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 seven days every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
Lastly
,
people
 are doing
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
 for reducing plastic waste.
However
, the habitat of
campaign
Add an article
the campaign
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 regularly
speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
show examples
 up in
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, so it will
be encourage
Change the verb form
encourage
show examples
people
 to aware.
Thus
, there are some pros
effects
Correct word choice
and effects
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 doing
proctection
Correct your spelling
protection
 of
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
 for doing
collaborate
Replace the word
collaborative
show examples
activities
 by the country.
On the other hand
, the
government
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 regulated on
ecosystem
 ways created
regulation
, application and installation.
Moreover
, it is conducting for society to follow the rules.
However
, the
government
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
punistment
Correct your spelling
punishment
punishments
 for
people
 who
didn’t
Wrong verb form
don’t
show examples
 follow the rules.
For example
, the oil
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in rural areas
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 unfollow the
regulation
 likely unreforest
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to
payment
Replace the word
pay
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the local authority. In sum, the payment fee will be one of
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 ways for society to
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
relagulation
Correct your spelling
regulation
regulations
. In conclusion, the responsibility for the
carry on
Add a hyphen
carry-on
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mother nature
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 by country.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals have
responsibility
Correct article usage
a responsibility
show examples
 for care the environment are
followed
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
activities
 and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
government
.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay lacks clarity in its argument structure and does not articulate a thesis statement effectively. It is essential to have a clear introduction with a thesis statement that directly addresses the topic. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and the conclusion should summarize the essay's main points without adding new information.
coherence cohesion
There is noticeable repetition and lack of variety in sentence structures, which hinders the flow of information. To improve, use a range of cohesive devices and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Furthermore, work on varying sentence types and lengths to create a more engaging and coherent essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: