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Band 4

The pictures illustrate the changes of a healthcare center from 2005 to now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#pictures #changes #healthcare #center #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pictures illustrate the changes in a healthcare
centre
 from 2005 to now.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
centre
 has been enlarged, especially
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
car
 parking area and its layout has been significantly changed to meet the demand. From the outside area, there were 12 spots in the
car
 parking in the front door of the
entrance
,
then
 expanded to 30 spaces at the present. The extension of the
car
 parking areas has led to the limitation of a garden located behind the
centre
, which has been slipped by a plethora of fences.
Besides
, the appearance of a minor operations room on the North side has been a factor in narrowing down the garden. Looking inside the
centre
, the number of CR rooms has been increased by one room located in the corner of the East and South of the
centre
. Another highlighted point is the change of the
entrance
, from the facing with the
car
 parking to in the left hand of the
centre
. Once stepping through the
entrance
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a reception desk on the left side and a children’s playing ground on the opposite, which is a new area in the present. The location of an office, next to the
entrance
 and a physiotherapy room on the Northeast side
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
 unchanged through the period of time.
Submitted by phuonglinhlp.0900 on

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coherence cohesion
It is important to structure the essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to guide the reader smoothly through your analysis. In the essay provided, the introduction and conclusion were not distinctly separated from the body, making it difficult to discern your main points and overall summary at the end.
coherence cohesion
Remember to use a range of cohesive devices (such as linking words, pronouns and synonyms) to ensure your essay flows well. There was minimal use of these in the essay, which could be improved upon for better cohesion.
task achievement
Develop each main point with specific, relevant details and examples to support your analysis. In this essay, the descriptions were general and lacked specific information that would have given a fuller picture of the changes to the healthcare centre.
task achievement
Ensure that you respond comprehensively to all parts of the task. It seems that you have omitted some details that might be apparent in the pictures. Be thorough in your descriptions to effectively summarize the changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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