Many people use distance learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most people tend to get online lessons for their
studies
. Some argue that it is not as helpful as participating in physical classes. I
supported
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
distance
learning because it saves
time
and money. The main disadvantage of online learning is practical knowledge is not included in the digital learning platforms.
Furthermore
, some lessons attached practical part of the syllabus and home environment are not facilitated with equipment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and infrastructures.
Then
students might lose the key component of the subject.
For instance
, Science subject has many laboratory periods and it has
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of chemicals and utensils to perform experiments and tests. But, usually, these things are domestically not available.
Thus
, classroom
studies
provide some benefits for
studies
.
However
, online
studies
save
time
and money.
In other words
, if participating in classroom lessons
essential
Add a missing verb
is essential
show examples
to go to that place away from home, and it takes
time
and cost to reach.
Moreover
, transport interference included traffic and the cost of fuel. As an example, many universities and popular academic centres are located in crowded city areas
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
impacts transportation.
On the other hand
, zoom learning is a very convenient way to acquire knowledge.
This
is because learners are able to participate comfortably
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
sitting on a sofa or bed and without concern about the attire. Eventually, saved
time
and cost can spent
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
other important things in their education and it will help to acquire good results.
For instance
, world
high ranked
Add a hyphen
high-ranked
show examples
universities provide
distance
learning for students.
Therefore
, more students have decided to choose
distance
learning rather than face-to-face
studies
. In conclusion, in
this
contemporary era, many people are engaging in
distance
education
instead
of attending
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
or academic centres. It
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
practical
Correct article usage
a practical
show examples
part but more
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
to participate because it saves money and
time
.
Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay responds to the task only partially. You have covered one side of the argument more than the other, lacking a balanced view on the topic. Detailed development of both sides of the argument is necessary to achieve a higher score. An examiner expects an equal discussion or a clear opinion addressing all parts of the prompt throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a basic logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped. A clear thesis statement in the introduction and a restated position in the conclusion are required for a higher score. Cohesion and coherence are about more than structure; they're about linking ideas and paragraphs smoothly, showing clear progression in your argument. Use of cohesive devices and paragraphing could be improved to guide the reader through your discussion and avoid generalizations without support.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: