The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The issue
whether
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of whether
show examples
the vital role of
science
should be to bolster the lives of human beings
,
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apply
show examples
has grown in importance throughout the years.
While
some individuals may agree, I strongly
opposed
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oppose
show examples
with
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apply
show examples
this
claim. It is my view that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
utilizing the amenities that the improvement of
science
provides for people at all costs to enhance better circumstances for them to live in, can sabotage the
environment
and other species living in our globe.
For instance
, the reproduction of animals in nutrition companies is one of the main reasons
of
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for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change.
Moreover
, all the plastic facilities that are being vastly manufactured every day, are going to be nonrecyclable litters that will harm the
environment
.
Conversely
, some people claim that if
science
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
used for people’s better
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, it won’t be useful for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
environment
or
animal’s
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animal
show examples
improvement either.
However
, I do not find
this
argument convincing as it is a two-way cycle. If people do not take
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the environment
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
and animals into consideration when using
science
-based technologies, there will
have been
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be
show examples
no opportunities for them to continue improving
science
by the time damages have taken
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apply
show examples
into
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apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
and there will be no healthy
environment
. To recapitulate,
although
augmenting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human lives is one of the most important goals of
science
,
But
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I completely disagree with the claim that it is the most important aim. Because
,
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apply
show examples
taking care of our
environment
and other species around us are very serious factors that need to be applied when we want to use
science
, So, there would be no harm
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
treating
them.
With
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By
show examples
implementing a balanced approach that combines aspects of both improving the people’s lives and taking care of the
environment
and other species’
live
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lives
show examples
, there would be no obstacles to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
science
as a source for increasing our
well-beings
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
.
Submitted by mahtab.motevallian on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with arguments appearing disjointed and without a clear sequencing of ideas. Work on linking your points more clearly and logically.
Coherence and Cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are essential for IELTS essays. While they are present, they need to be clearer, directly addressing the prompt, and summarizing the main points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some main points are supported, but the supporting arguments and examples need to be more specific and directly relevant to the question. Expand on these points to show a clear connection to the thesis.
Task Achievement
The essay does not comprehensively address the task. The prompt asks you to discuss to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement. The response should provide a balanced consideration, with clear arguments for your view and consideration of the opposing view.
Task Achievement
Ideas are present, but the clarity and the comprehensive nature of these ideas could be improved. Present each idea separately and fully develop it before moving on to the next.
Task Achievement
The examples provided are somewhat relevant but lack specificity. Providing concrete, specific examples strengthens the argument and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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